MotormouthDTM

The Holy Bible

2011-07-12T16:20:00.000-07:00

...you know for a long time i've hated how life has been going for me, I am fully aware I have depression, and that gets me down, but looking past that, even if I was fine, I would still hate it. The fact that I have to cope with depression on top just makes it that much worse. I am constantly reminded that I am not good enough, frequently by the same people that tell me I am, while also being treated like a slave worker in my job, by managers that seem to have forgotten that their actions affect people, and that money and success shouldn't come with a human cost. With my 'friends' as fast as I make an effort, and help them out, offer support, and am generally as nice as it's possible for me to be...they stop making the effort and start complaining about other people. People that they seem to place value in, who aren't treating them right. Hello, i'm over here remember, the guy who WOULD treat you right...never mind. Of course all of this effort and then lack of respect, time, and actual caring back takes it's toll, the lies and all those times i'm ignored get to me, and as fast as I explain how I feel when I feel bad...I make everything worse, and despite the fact I would do anything for these people, they all too readily forget that, and see it as an excuse not to bother. Of course part of this all is that I am pretty much not fit for purpose when it comes to human interaction, social interaction...I basically can't do it. I cannot cope with the sitations that it ALWAYS ends in, all the feelings associated with all that I try and do...I can't cope with. I just feel like I can't do this...i'm stuck in a loop, and as much as I have escapes...It isn't enough. Sure, I could go to the doctor and get pills, but they won't work, i'm too strong willed, for them to work they would be so strong, they would zombify me, and nullify what little outgoing part of me is left. I could go to a counsellor...but again, I am not the sort of person that works for. I know what is happening, i'm not lost in terms of details...I just have this thing in my head that stops me functioning, and very little around me helps with that. I could potentially be ok, in the right enviroment, with the right people, but that will never happen. I am always trying to find the right people, but the problem is always that i'm still me. I can potentially be the best friend you will ever have, i'd lay down my life for you. I can, once I get to know you, be a verry witty, funny, outgoing person, with good ideas, and who can share stuff with you, I have wide tastes...I can do many things, potentially, I WANT TO. But no-one sees through this, to that. No one believes what I know to be true. I have always placed an emphasis on truth and honest. I believe in it, more than anything, and to a fault. It has to be right, I have to be right, I have to be understood...yet all this, that I value so much...is not recognised. That is perhaps the most galling thing of all. The thing I put the most effort into, at the expense of many good things, much happiness. The thing I spend so many hours in darkness to protect, even though I know I shouldn't, that it needn't matter so much...Is essentially meaningless to everyone else. Sure, a few people recognise it, and I am reliable Dan...but am I the one they want to see often, or am I the last call, when everyone else has let them down. If I was the last man on earth, people would want me...i'm not hated. But unless that happened, I just feel like I mean nothing. Overdramatic? maybe a bit. But try living it. If you read this far, and lets face it, only a couple of people ever even look at this place...I care about you. You mean something to me. Isn't it ironic that I feel more alone surrounded by people I know than I do when talking to someone hundreds, even thousands of miles away. Is it cathartic writing this? not really. Is there an answer? not really. I respect religion for the simple reason that I know how it is to feel lost and alone, and I wish I had somthing to hold onto like that. Alas, i'm too logical...being right isn't always fun...in fact, almost never, I find...

How interesting

2011-06-22T09:28:00.001-07:00

Look at me, I am blogging from my phone! OUTSTANDING! So what is new with me? Well my band, z stacks is now active, playing live and with some rough demos to its name, with proper recordings to follow, as well as actually putting on our own gigs. We have demos to download for free, so please take a look, take a listen, and enjoy :-) .

Dan
Xxxx

Nostalgia

2010-07-23T15:52:00.000-07:00

Nostalgia is a funny thing, you dream of the future, but when you get there you look back at the bast and wish you were still there. Of course things change, and I always wanted them to, for the better...but somethings I just wish would go on forever. I guess that is the point, very few things are a constant in your life, and you have to get used to that, and try and move past that so you enjoy the present and the future.
Yesterday and today I went through my email acounts and deleted all the crap and spam, of which there was a lot, because I never delete my mail. After going through 12,000 messages on one, and 7,000 on the other...I think I might start. However, there was a secondary reason for this, other than needing to, and a third reason also. I was bored, and I quite fancied a trip down memory lane. I found email notifications from when I was a regular on The Barbs (now sadly defunct local band) forum, and also emails from my dear blogging followers, Ginger Doll and Livewire (i'd link them, but since they are pretty much the only people likely to read this, not much point in that!) which really got the nostalgia going.
I always miss regular blogging, but life seems to cloud my mind, and I can't quite make that leap back in. I just rot away on facebook, which is fine for keeping track of stuff and finding amusing things that other people have posted, but it really can suck your life away. I have a couple of weeks off work for my birthday, so I have time to gear my mind up to a blogging return, and...well there is much to tell, but I don't think I can quite do it right now (although maybe I will...).
Basically, I have been in my new job for over a year now, after being made redundant from working in a record/entertainment store, which suited me. I basically enjoy most of the work, it's a department/DIY sort of store, and I work in the Lighting and Gallery (canvases/frames etc) sections, as Supervisor...although it's basically just me. I have freedom to pretty much do what I like, since no-one else has really got all that involved, and management have come and gone, and i'm on my own...everyone basically sees it as mine, and comes to me for anything to do with it, and leaves and changes to me, usually. I like this, although it's a bit lonely working on my own. I also miss being around, and having on...music. Music has been a constant in my life since I was in my early teens, and it never fails to cheer me up, get me going...without that, I suffer somewhat, have nothing to draw strength from. It doesn't help that it is not a great enviroment to work in, with a lot of gossip and backstabbing, as well as arrogant managers who care little for staff morale, and a badly run, money grabbing company...
What also doesn't help is the lack of things happening in my life, nothing much to look forward to. Of course I have my band, The Z Stacks(more on them later) but I do very little else other than work, and sit at home and rot, on facebook, MSN, occasionally doing something creative like writing poetry and lyrics (my word skills have a use at last!). everyone else got lives, I just kept going, unable to quite make a breakthrough with life.
Also, home life isn't great, as ever. My mum and I argue all the time, and at the moment, it looks like one of our cats is on it's way out, which will affect me (just a tiny, tiny, massive bit of understatement). It's something I need to get out of, as with my job. Basically, years of unhappiness has taken it's toll, and i'm teetering on the edge of sanity. My depression has got so bad that pretty much every day at work feels like 1000 years, my body so leaden, that sometimes I just crouch down in a cord=ner, feeling like I should cry, but just...finding some way of carrying on..but I have been so close to walking out for so long...the cracks are staring to show, I have had times at work where I have made clear my feelings, and at the pub the other day, I was standing there, wishing to talk to 2 girls I have known for some time, and certainly one of whom I talk to all the time over the internet, and...I basically was unable to talk...it was like I was trapped, I just couldn't cope with the situation. It was not nice, and I was starting to panic a bit, and only just managed to stop myself from just walking out...which may have been wiser, really. But if I can't go out anymore (oh, by the way I have no ID, and after going there for 6 years, this particular pub/club now ID's me, so I can't even get in, apart from the odd lucky occasion (lucky...) and I cannot afford to get ID for several months, and even then it won't be easy) then my options are further limited, not that I was ever big on going out anyway. Things just never seem to go my way. Things that would improve my life...are always just out of reach, no matter how hard I try, and now...i'm almost beyond trying...i'm pretty stuck in a situation that I can't cope with anymore, and I have coped for so long...pretty much at breaking point.
I have, however, at least made good new friends this year, and although they do bring occasion unhappiness and headache...it's worth it, even if only to know I can still make friends, despite it all. So thats really why I haven't been here, even though being here more would probably help...and I hope if I can be here more, it will help.

That all out of the way...onto my band. The Z Stacks . We formed early last year, after knowing each other for years and talking about it often. The trouble was alway the non-musicality of me and Rob (who needs to get his ass back to blogging) and the reluctantcy to show his talent off of another. Once we decided to do it, I ended up on bass, it being the easiest, and we set off on a bold musical adventure. We have written quite a few songs, varied like we are, and have, if anything, speeded up creatively, largely driven by me writing, and coming up with new ideas now i've gotten used to writing lyrics. I don't write everything, but I at least put ideas out there. We only had 2 guitars, bass and vocals until a couple of months ago (apart from a period with a mate of ours that didn't work out) when we finally got a drummer. We had played a gig at someones leaving do at a function room, and also at Rob's sisters' 18th birthday, but not a proper, public gig as a full band with drums. That gig is happening soon, on the 1st of august.
Quite excited about that, and as much so about writing and recording more songs. We have some very rough demos on the facebook page for your enjoyment, they are but a sample of our musical diversity and awesomeness, more of which will be posted soon. Hopefully our gig will be included, and I would very much like to share this with anyone that wants it (GD and Livewire, looking at you, and S, if he sees this).
I will be back, posting a story, and some poetry and song lyrics soon, but for now, visit the facebook page(no signup required I believe) and listen to our songs, enjoy The Replacements-
Bastards Of Young I linked up top, and take care of yourselves.

Dan
xxxx

The Adventures Of A Tiny Peanut Named Tim

2010-01-25T00:46:00.000-08:00

ok. Tim was born out of a forbidden romance between a monkey nut and a pecan, and outcast by his family as an embarassment. He wandered aimlessly for what seemed like years, although may onlly have been minutes,until he found some bar work, as can happen when you are starting out on your own. He was looking forward to his first night of work, not ... See Morereally knowing what he was in for. As he waited for it to get busy he noticed, over in the corner...another peanut, smaller even than he was, cowering, terrified. He rolled on over to the tiny nut and asked what their name was.
The other peanut urned round, and to his surprise...
it was his mother...he was stunned...she used to be so big with her shell, but now she was this tiny frightened nut, looking up at him. She managed to struggle out a weak 'son' before starting to look really frightened. She used what seemed to be the last of her strength to say, very clearly 'i'm so sorry, I love y...' she was cut short by an enormous hand picking her up...and she was gone...tears started streaming from his eyes, he was confused, angry, sad. What could he do now...
his grief and confusion was cut short, when the same hand came reaching for him. In that moment, he knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes and waited...
He awoke in darkness. He was confused, not quite sure what had happened, or where he was. He stumbled around for a while, and his eyesa began to adjust to the dark, until eventually he could see most of his surroundings. He was in some kind of knightmare world, full of pulsating bulges and dripping faecets. Strangely, he felt no fear. In fact, he ... See Morefelt great. He had found a new sense of purpose. He knew what he must do. He would rescue his mother, find out about his past, and then he could face the future knowing who he was. He gurded his loins, such as they were, and set forth on his quest...
He woke again, not knowing where he was. He remembered tripping, and falling...but then nothing.He Looked down at himself to see if he was injured, and to his amazement...
He was human! Fully formed with arms and legs and all the other manbits he had heard about. He stood up, naked and proud, and breathed in deep.
'Put some pants on young man!' he looked round, startled to see another woman, different, but still recognisable...his mother! He suddeny became rather embarrased, and hurredly looked for something to cover... See More up with, finding only a toy sword and a length of string. He sighed, and tied on to the other, making a makeshift modesy device. He walked over to his mother, who had been quiet since her first comment...
She was beginning to breathe deeply when he approached he knelt by where she was propped up, against a nearby wall. As he did so, he became aware of the maggots eating at her arm, then that it was no longer attatched, a bandage covering the stump where it was. He was that she was sitting in blood...a lot of blood. He looked into her eyes, and ... See Morewhispered 'I love you...I forgive you' she smiled, then began coughing, and blood dripping out of her mouth. He held her, realising that she was about to dir, and that he must be strong. She could speak no more, and he held her until her breathing began to slow. He kissed her on the forehead, and she died in his arms...
He didn't cry, he reflected on her final words, 'Put some pants on young man!' and chuckled to himself. He closed her eyes, put her down, and stood up. He considered briefly stealing her clothes, but then realised that he would not be able to undress his just departed mother and leave her naked. He took one last look at her, and set off down the tunnel nearest to her body...
He walked for what seemed like hours, until he suddenly came round a corner, to an opening, bathed in light. He walked through, boldly, certain that this was his destiny. What he saw took his breath away...
He had just entered an enormous underground chamber, the ceiling reaching up hundreds of feet. He was still looking up in wonder when he felt it...a tremor...then another. They continued, getting closer, until, through another, larger opening in the far wall, crawled a fantastical creature, unlike anything he could have imagined...
The best description he could give it was...the devil...as a peanut spider. He didn't know wether to laugh, or clutch his sword, opting to do both. The peanut looked at him for a while, looking intently, as if to gauge him. Then proclaimed: 'I am your destiny, I am your downfall. This is where your life ends' stunned, he undid his sword, half aware... See More that he stood before this peanut beast naked and erect...and realised he had but one purpose...to avenge his mother, and to vanquish the demon of being smaller than all the other peanuts. He took a deep breath, and roared, as he ran at the beast...
He swung into action as soon as he neared the beast, ducking and lunging under it's bloated peanut body, and past it's wiry, twiglet like arms. He swung round as he got behind the beast, and jumped on one of it's legs, gripping tightly. The beast shook with all it's might, and he struggled to hold on, but the beast soon gave up shaking, and ... See Morescuttled towards the nearest wall. He realised he was going to be squashed against the wall, and panicked...what would he do. He gripped tighter and just before they reached the wall, he jumped, thudding to the ground. As he looked up, he saw the spider stagger back...with it's body shell smashed, and it's internal nut exposed. He ignored the pain racking his body and lunged with his sword...
He struck the beast dead centre of it's innnards, and with a final moan he slumped back triumphant...
...then sudenly, he blinked awake, in broad daylight. He was surrounded by people, all staring. He remembered where he was...he had been drinking, in the pub, and he had been dared to strip, when he was accused of being 'small' he had then staggered home drunk and naked, eating peanuts, when he began to choke. He realised he was on his front lawn, ... See Moreand, now sober, was aware that he was still naked, and his mother, his real mother was telling him to put some pants on. He grabbed the outstretched y-fronts from her and put them on, embarrased. He realised he had been saved by her managing to perform the heimlich manouver on him and save him. He apologised to the crowd and rushed inside and up to his room, locking himself in. He realised that he had been, in a was, saved by his mother in his dream-like state, and that all that worry about being small...had been from the pub. But on reflection he realised he had learnt a lot. Not to drink so much and get naked for one...but also...that he really liked how a sword felt in his hand!
THE END!

Let it snow, let it snow...actually could it stop now please

2010-01-13T04:54:00.000-08:00

Well, more snow. Getting a bit sick of it now. Makes getting into work more difficult, and...well I don't really go anywhere else so not much else to affect. Although it did affect my band Z Stacks . Our Keys player/drummer could not make it to our gig at an 18th birthday party for one of our members' sisters. This caused a slight problem, but we went ahead anyway, and it went rather well, played for an hour, somehow (we played pretty much all the songs we know)and everyone seemed to enjoy us.

Well I know I have promised a review of the year...but I have had trouble putting it together, it's still coming, don't worry about that.

In the meantime, all my poetry is gathered here if you haven't already seen it dtmthinktank

Well thats all for now, take care out there.

Dan
xxxx

It's beginning to look a lot like bollocks

2009-12-26T16:11:00.000-08:00

Ho ho ah, whatever.

Well I hope everyone had a lovely crab mess, I mean Christmas. I have always loved Christmas, but the last few years...it seems to have had it's magic lessened, I think in part because of the aggresive retail world I seem to be in. Shops are more concerned with maximising profits than giving their staff any sort of Christmas cheer. Sure there are Christmas songs, but it's just not the same as it once was. I suppose thats progress eh?

In other news, not that what I just typed was news, it was some words. But in other news, my review of the year, including my albums, films, and games of the year will be coming soon, as will my albums/films/games of the decade. Working that out is becoming...interesting!

I would certainly be interested in seeing lists from other people, always interested in lists :)

Dan
xxxx

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T15:24:00.000-08:00

Ho ho ho everyone, and a merry christmas to you all...both of you :) may all your dreams come true and all your babies be born naked.

Dan
xxxx

Arg

2009-12-21T17:38:00.000-08:00

Ok, well yes I have been poor at this recently, things have happened and i've kinda clammed up in some ways, don't know why this affects my blogging, just seems to make me not quite flow with writing, or something. I will at some point find a job and some sort of life that pleases me, and isn't so shit as to give me massive depression, that might help!

Anyway, I will endeavour to post more, and starting...now.

Ok, well I am employed now for a start, in 'a Home and Garden Superstore' which is...different. I am in charge of Lighting and Gallery(pictures) and this isn't so bad, but the company and the management seemingly are on a mission to make everyone in their employment hate them, and in that, they are doing a very good job. I am currently hoping my application for a job with my fellow lazy blogger Mr Rob is succesful, as I would then work at a cinema.

In other news, we formed a band Z Stacks

we have played our first gig at a private party for a mate of ours and are playing at Robs' sisters birthday in january, hopefully it won't be too long before we start playing proper gigs. We have recorded a christmas song for your 'pleasure' forgive the sound quality on the songs, they are either recorded on one room mic with us playing live at Robs house, or with the on-board mic on my laptop. We will hopefully be re-recording some songs on an 8-track soon though.

Well I think thats a good start, I will build on that, with more soon, I promise.

Dan
xxxx

Links 'n' Laughs!

2009-02-25T12:37:00.000-08:00

So...hmm, yeah...

Well I have been a bit bored recently, all this unemployment, lack of job opportunities and general lack of motivation has kinda stopped me doing anything much.
I have however done a second music video for a local band called 'What Would Jesus Drive' for their forthcoming single 'The Girls Are In Charge'
If you wish to see the first video we did then go here
The new video will be part animated and part live action, the animated bits are great, and the live action stuff was fun to film, if a bit difficult to set up, not that it's that complicated, but we didn't have much space to get the lighting right. But it went well and hopefully the video will be done soon. We also filmed a live gig of their new line up as well(we had previously filmed a few gigs, but with their old line up of just the 2 of them, now there are 4 of them)
If you wish you can check out their myspace
Or the Guitarist/Singer's other band The Mind Without Maths

I have also recently discovered an excellent comedian/musician by the name of Tim Minchin. I think he is best represented by these links:

If I Didn't Have You
Angry 'Feet'
Not Perfect
Mitsubishi Colt
Inflatable You

I hope you enjoy those, and while you're at it, this video is the funniest thing I have EVER seen!

Thats all for now, I'll be back with something more substantial soon!

Dan
xxxx

Flying Monkeys...

2009-02-07T16:03:00.000-08:00

...are sadly neglected!
Monkeys Will Take Over The World

A place for madness that is sadly empty as of late...more madness please...please?

Dan-Co-ordinatinator of wibbly madnoise
xxxx

Twitter!

2009-02-03T16:51:00.000-08:00

Hey there people, been changing a few bits on the sidebar, and i've now added a twitter updates section. Twitter is really quite good, and a lot of celebrities use it, and update regularly,including Stephen Fry, Robert Llewelyn and Jonathan Ross, and seeing what they, and your friends are getting up to in bite size chunks is a great idea in my opinion and a great companion to blogging. So head on over there and give it a whirl, follow the link on the sidebar and have fun!

Dan
xxxx

ok, just to recap...we're fucked

2009-01-26T17:08:00.000-08:00

Greetings
neglect has started to creep into this blog once more, and I will try my best to stop this...but there is a reason. My motivation is shot at the moment, and i'm distracted with many things.
I'll explain...
As I previously mentioned, the company I worked for went into administration on Christmas eve, which was great timing obviously 'merry fucking Christmas to you too' but anyway, nothing else happened until 8th January. Now, we hadn't gotten any stock in since before Christmas and we were running pretty low, everything was out and the store looked good, we'd worked hard to make sure it did. But then, on my day off I got a call from my manager saying we'd shut and all the stock was to be sent off to a larger store. I went in, to help and to find out the details, a bit dazed really. We were to be made redundant at close of trade the following day. We were to send the stock off, and that was it, we were redundant, less than 48hrs notice. It turned out to be a great last couple of days. As sad as it was, and it was very sad, for me certainly, we made the best of it, and could relax, with no real pressure anymore. The guy that was sent down from head office really hated that he had to shut us down, and so he bought us 2 crates of beer to have while we were sending off the stock, so it turned into a sort of party, a send off. But the fact remained, we were out of a job, redundant.
At this point, i'll point out how my financial situation is. I have 2 loans, one for £200 and one for £65 a month. The £200 a month one has loan protection, so, having had a form sent through to claim for that and filled it out, only to find out that the job centre has to fill a part of it out, but that they can't until your claim with them has gone through I may still have that to worry about come the end of the month, as it still isn't sorted out. I also have about £100 of other outgoings a month, most of them are within the period of the contract where I can't cancel them, so nothing I can reduce there. I worked 8 days in january and from that I was paid £400, and I had a cheque I was owed for £183 that i've paid in, but I was over my overdraft limit, and so, with, adding on bank charges, about £500 to come out of my account at the end of the month, or a few days after my account has about £100, and I have a £250 overdraft limit. I get paid £45 a week jobseekers allowance, so that'll go in on monday, but that still means i'll be over my overdraft limit for a couple of weeks by about £100, resulting in more charges, and then my jobseekers will clear that just in time for about another £170 to come out, providing I don't get any charges and I sort out my loan protection. So i'll get more charges, while my jobseekers may vaguely keep me afloat for a while. But I have no money for anything else, my mum, who I live with is, and will have to buy the food as I won't have any extra money, and hope that the extra she'll get for housing benefit because i'm not working will cover the rent.
Keep up with all that? Sound fun? I know a lot of people are in a similar situation, but that doesn't really help me to feel any better, my motivation is lacking a lot of the time, sometimes I feel happy and ready to do stuff, other times...I don't. I have been jobsearching and have applied for getting on for 50 jobs now i'd imagine, most of them shitty jobs, or ones i'll likely not get, but i've been to some interviews, not gotten the jobs...it's not great fun, and I wasn't in the best state of mind before all of this to be honest.
But what about redundancy pay you ask? that must help. Well, as the company were in administration I can't claim it from then, so I only get statuatory redundancy from the government, which is less than company redundancy. I get 2 weeks pay, plus I can claim back notice they should have given me, which is 4 weeks, and holiday pay i'm owed, which is 8 days. So not too bad. But I have to CLAIM it, which I was advised by a lady at the job centre can take up to 6 months, even if they only say a couple of weeks. Helpful, really helpful.

Anyway, that takes us up 'till now. I am still jobsearching, and still with a topsy turvy state of mind. If i'm honest i'm pretty sure now that I have a form of depression, most likely, I would say, bi-polar. I can be great, really happy, and then because of one small thing, barely anything at all, i'll switch to really angry or depressed, complete opposite. I can't control it, and it was getting hard to control over christmas, several times I snapped, and only just held myself together enough to not tell all the customers to go fuck themselves, although I certainly wasn't my usual polite self. In addition to this my health isn't great, I have an enlarged tendon, or so my doctor tells me, on my left wrist, which I have a gel to put on, but it means gripping, or exessive movement can be, on occasion, very painful. I also have some other problems I won't detail here, but that make me uncomfortable in a variety of ways, physically and mentally.
I'll also admit that my relationship with my mum, who I live with, is variable. We argue a lot, she has a go at me for small things, that don't really matter, and she is especially snappy with me at the moment, for no reason at all, thanks to a problem with a stray cat that we can't have in the house all the time, but which won't leave our garden, is always at our window, wanting to come in. My mum feeds it, and lets it in supervised, and spends a lot of time worrying about it, so gets snappy with me, when I really don't need it.
Then of course I have all the same old problems of confidence and what effects that has on me, not being able to make friends properly, get a girlfriend, feel like I fit in, belong in a conversation with most people.

All of this adds up to this being a very difficult time, where I struggle to hold myself together physically, mentally and financially...and it's hard, and it's getting to me. Pretty much I just needed to write that down, get it out, a release of some sort, and this is the best release I have.
Not really sure I expect anyone to have read all this, but thank you to anyone that has.

I still blog here to get things out there, because it's my biggest release, and because I enjoy it...but also because of the wonderful people i've met on here, who I consider great friends,and hope to meet in person one day. It means a lot for people to accept and comment on my ramblings, I thank you all, I hope you are well, much love
Dan
xxxx

Top 25 Movies Of All Time

2009-01-04T15:42:00.001-08:00

Why not? I decided to update my list of top movies, and now it's a top 25. I may change this around a bit soon, maybe even decide on a top 30 instead, but for now, in no particular order...

Juno
Dark Knight
Wall-E
Jurassic Park
Lion King
Terminator 2
Devils Rejects
Dawn Of The Dead
V For Vendetta
American Beauty
Finding Neverland
Thank You For Smoking
The Matrix
Hard Candy
Good Night, And Good Luck
Wizard Of Oz
Nausicaa Of The Valley Of The Wind
Princess Mononoke
Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford
Pans Labyrinth
The Proposition
Bad Taste
LOTR Trilogy
Heavenly Creatures
There Will Be Blood

FUCK EVERYTHING

2008-12-24T09:09:00.000-08:00

So here it is, the review of the year, the time when I look back over the year and give you lists and comments on this year past. Well maybe I should have done this sooner, as my year has just been completely ruined, and possibly my life as well. So here we go, review of the year...

Top Films

1.Dark Knight-A masterpiece of epic, engaging, relevant cinema and film-making.
Wall-E-Possibly the best animated film ever, this has charm, humour and nuance, brilliant.
Juno-One of the best written, and best acted comedies of recent years.
2.There Will Be Blood-An epic masterpiece, headlined by a startling turn by Mr Day-lewis
3.Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford-tail end of 2007, so included here, magnificent.
4.Hellboy 2-Funnier than the first, with a great sense of fun and adventure.
5.No Country For Old Men-A modern western that isn't all that modern.
6.[REC]/Quarantine-Pretty much the same film, and both as scary as hell
7.Orphanage-A brilliant, mesmerising film, with a great twist
8.Hancock-Funniest thing will smith has done in years, and rntertaining as always
9.In Bruges-sweary, funny, brilliant
10.Charlie Wilsons War-sharp, funny and true. great performances.

Worthy Of Note

Iron Man
Shine A Light
Appollosa
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Gone Baby Gone
Wanted
Burn After Reading
Sweeney Todd
Cloverfield

Top Albums

1.Nicole Atkins-Neptune City
2.The Datsuns-Headstunts
3.The Offspring-Rise and fall, rage and grace
4.Steven Wilson-Insurgentes
5.AC/DC-Black Ice
6.Ginger-Market Harbour
7.Wildhearts-Stop Us If You've Heard This One Before Vol.1
8.Motorhead-Motorizer
9.Seasick Steve-Started Off With Nothin'...
10.Nick Cave-Dig Lazarus, Dig

HIGHS

'A' Reforming
Getting back into games and reading more
Miniatures battles, mucho fun

Lows

Most of the rest of the year...
Breaking my ankle
Not finding a new job
not getting anywhere further in life
my body creaking and groaning its way through the year
financial problems
...and finally, today. the company i work for going into administration meaning my job is very much at risk, which would destroy me financially, not to mention the fact it's kinda ruined Christmas for me.

So there it was, the review of the year. Not a great year, with a terrible end.

But regardless, merry Christmas to you all, have a wonderful time.

Dan
xxxx

It's all part of the plan

2008-12-17T07:58:00.000-08:00

Well isn't it lovely, Christmas is almost here! I am of course, stressed to hell because of the incompetence/laziness/wilful disobedience of the people I work with, coupled with the total disregard management has for being a good manager(nothing new) and the compound problems caused by the problems we now have to cope with following the collapse of woolworths(hint, I work for a store that used EUK as a distributor...and they were owned by woolworths, causing us to have no stock for a while...and now only have variable stock thanks to management buying direct from the suppliers...oh and we can't see gift cards, order in store, and you can't order online...all of which makes customers rather cross, and us rather stressed). Anyway, this has been the cause, among other things of my absence in the last month or so-my mood has been variable to say the least. I will however be starting to poast more regularly in the new year, and will have a review of the year along with lists(I love lists) and such very soon...just as soon as I remember what the hell was released this year. In the meantime scoot over to Big Beat From Badsville and have a fun lead up to Christmas.

Dan
xxxx

Bop-It

2008-11-10T16:03:00.000-08:00

It all started on friday. I was at work that day, but, as it way Rob's birthday party, went straight from work, with John, to that. Now I was ill already, but it was only a cold, and annoying as it was, which was a lot seeing as it had been with me for almost 3 weeks, thats all it was. The evening was going ok, there was Pizza, drink, friends, fireworks and fun. This continued, however, at some point during the evening I began to cough. Not a small cough like the coughs you get everyday, but a dry, painful cough. This continued. I still enjoyed the evening, but I still had the cough. I was at work the next day, and it was possibly the worst day of my life, physically and in some ways mentally. I was coughing every few seconds the entire day. Staff told me to go home, hell even customers told me I should go home, but my manager didn't, so I just coped...just. I couldn't go in to work the following day, my voice was almost gone, and my diaphragm was killing me, as was my throat. Still I had a cough. I had bought some medicine on saturday, and eventually, the cough abated, mostly. I had an apointment with the doctor anyway, and I am now on more pills to help. I also have a gel for my wrist, which has an inflamed tendon apparently, which is rather painful, and stops me gripping, or doing much at all with my left hand. It makes work more difficult certainly. I had been on pills for it before, but now something new. Of course, I have to pay for them. So thats the last few days. Not the best of times for me in many ways, although I did enjoy the party, it was good fun, and I had my first miniatures painting session today and finished painting my first model, which I think came out rather well. Hopefully my health will improve soon, as I am beginning to tire of illness.

Dan
xxxx

A High Note

2008-11-03T16:04:00.000-08:00

A few musical suggestions:
First of all, if you haven't heard of a lady named Nicole Atkins, then do yourself a favour and look her up. She has put an album out that defies musical trends, looking back to how music used to be made and how people used to sing songs many years ago. It's a very well produced album full of great lyrics and fantastic flourishes and vocals, that is probably my album of the year. I usually listen to rock music in all it's forms, but I am open to anything that is good basically, and I love her album.
Also, the new datsuns album is the same, yet different. The datsuns are a new zealand garage band, who kind of faded with the garage movement of a few years back. But they have come up with an album that despite the fact probably no-one will hear it, is a great progression of their sound and songwriting. It has much better production than before, and they haven't been afraid to push the boundaries of their sound, still sounding like they always have but with a maturity that they never had before. I think it's a shame so few people will hear it, because it is a really good album.
I suggest you look up signal room too. They are an Australian band that counts among it's members 2 former farscape actors, Anthony Simcoe and Wayne Pygram, on vocals and drums respectively. It's not groundbreaking stuff, but it's pretty good for a band with actors in it, certainly considering how badly some other actors have fared.

I got the nostalgia Blues

2008-10-29T17:32:00.000-07:00

Bearing in mind this took 2 minutes and it's quarter to 1 in the morning, I kind of like it. Not in the sense that it's good, because it's not, but because it means something to me.

Unsure About Closure

Form and closure
pressure no more
life moves on
I look back
can't wait
won't forget
always regrets
moving forwards
but carrying the past

Another one...I feel compelled to write what I feel, but it doesn't always come out as I would like.

Irony And Memory

I think and I sigh
those were the days
don't remember why
better than today
never get them back
they are always there
time is ironic
makes you care

Again, trying to get the right words together.

Walking Forwards, Looking Back

Because of the past
I respect the present
because of the future
I long for the past
because of today
I wish it was yesterday
when tomorrow comes
Who knows where we'll be

Snapshots Of Experience

2008-10-29T15:50:00.000-07:00

You know, life is a funny thing, it ebbs and flows, and despite yourself even your darkest moments provide something to savour, if only with hindsight. You experience life for the most part, and then you look back on it if you're anything like me, occasionally indulging in a nostalgia trip, thinking over your old memories and writings and events you hardly think about anymore. Personally, even though I suppose I am happier, more stable than I have been, no wild emotional swings, despite no real reason to be any happier...I still look back and wish, just for a moment, that I could be there again, that I could re-live those periods of my life that just aren't there any more. Maybe it's because my life is a bit empty on the whole. People say that I have all this stuff, that I can't moan about so much, but it's all devoid of meaning really. It's all hollow, just a comfort thing. I don't trust myself so much to people as to material things, objects that won't fail me, that won't question me or burden me with information that, for me, to me, isn't relevant. I live among these objects, and I am happy with that in many ways, I'm an emotional guy, even small things can really affect me, I hoard because I would be sad if I never saw that certain thing that has no real use or meaning, but reminds me of something that I can think of and find comfort in. But at the same time I long for more, I keep buying things because I find it difficult to invest myself in people, and situations, and my comfort zone is restricted by my ability to reason things out in my brain. Can I say this?...well it would be ok because of this...but you couldn't say that...
I am less shy than I used to be, certainly in many ways. But this is mostly a maturaty that i've developed in my reasoning, and also because i've loosened up a bit. I am still shy though. I find it difficult to approach people. I still have to reason it out, because I don't want to say something wrong, that might make then dislike me or think of me in a bad way, or in any way other than how I intended, and my problem is just that. So I turn to things for comfort. I might cheer up a bit, or find some surrogate joy from a new DVD that would be easier and more assured than taking a chance. Sure it's a lot to do with loving my films and music and games and so on, but at the core it's because it's safe, and deep down I know...or at least feel, that I couldn't cope with the rejection that might happen if I just took a chance.
So in many ways I am happier. I get depressed less, I don't mind so much about going out less than I used to, and i'm more happy with just staying in and playing a game or something like that, at least more so that I used to be. But it's not the same as being around people I like and respect, and care about, and who make me laugh and with whom I have shared some good times. So the nostalgia kicks in, I look back at the 'good times' that we had, and that I experienced without, in some cases, realising that it was a good time. I suppose I could learn from this that things aren't always as bad as you make them out to be, it's all an experience, and it won't last forever, and you should try and enjoy it as much as you can while it's there.
Of course, that doesn't really help me in the present. I have made changes, and, if anything, i'm more happy with how I am than I have been before. I look back at how I was, and wished I had changed sooner, how things could have been different if I had been different. But no matter. I have plans for more change. I have my finances pretty much under control, I am more happy with how I look than I used to be, although not totally happy, not even close, and not in a paranoid way, my skin needs work, although I am working on that, and I would so love to get rid of the gap in my teeth and whiten them. I'm not big on plastic surgery, but that would mean a lot to me, no matter what anyone says. I do sometimes get the old freddy mercury thing of covering my mouth when laughing, or avoiding it altogether. Not often, granted, but I would be so much more confident if I could get that done.
Now I started talking about how I basically lean on materialism to cover depression, and how it still happens even if depression is not the problem it once was. Well I am getting better with that. I buy less, and I am buying more varied and useful things. I have taken up miniatures gaming, and I love doing it, no matter what anyone says about it being geeky or whatever. I also bought some picyures, some art, for my room. Little changes, but enough to affect me. Little things snowball into bigger things, because even the biggest things have to start somewhere.
Moving onto my job...well I hate some of the people I work with but I am quite sad about how I don't care for it all like I used to. This is entirely down to being messed around by the business and the people that think they have all the answers, even though they are blind to the questions, and the important things, not to them, but to those below them. I am going to be leaving after christmas, after over 4 and a half years there, which, for me is a long tome considering I've only been working for six years. Even typing that seems strange, because it seems like an eternity, but again, nostalgia creeps in.
I suppose I am typing mainly to just put down what I feel, which is the main point of a blog I know, but particularly in this instance just to think about it, and give it over to anyone who may find it of interest to them. I miss a lot of things, always with the nostalgia, but certainly one thing I miss is the regular blogging. So many of my comrades have fallen off the blogging landscape, grown out of it in some cases, or just moved on to something else, but I can still indulge my nostalgia in some small way by posting this as a sort of love letter to all those little memories that loom larger as the years go by, that remind you of times past. Sure you can't get them back, but I find that I can at least take some comfort in remembering. Of course I am also starting to look forwards, and in a way looking back helps fit some of the pieces together and helps things make sense. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else, but I suppose it just gives me a reason to rally my confidence, to seek some more good times, to live a bit more than I am at the moment. Maybe i'm rambling now, but at least there is some clarity in my mind at least.

Furthermore, I am now determined, more than ever to go back to full time blogging, and I know I have said that before, but this time I really do mean it. Maybe I shall rant, maybe spout nonsense, or poetry, or maybe just talk about the latest music,movies and games. But Getting my thoughts out there is important again, and amen to that.

Dan
xxxx

Put simply...it is shorter

2007-12-15T01:12:00.000-08:00

Welcome all, to another installment of...Dan.
I have now, as part of ongoing change described in my last blogging entry, had my hair cut, and shaved. You can see the results of this in my profile picture. It's certainly different, and i'm rather pleased with it. I hope you all like it too.

Stuck dead centre of myself, ready to escape

2007-11-11T07:47:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to all. What follows is a Dan broadcast:

It is a long time since I have posted on here, which is shamefull considering I have the internet at home now, but this is to change, as will many things. Various thoughts and fellings and events have penetrated my consciousness to a degree that has sent my brain into even more of a thinking frenzy than usual. I cannot continue along the same vein as I have been. I am tired of so many things, and much as a few things have improved, the song remains the same...I am unhappy with myself. With how I am not as outgoing as I could be, with how I don't always say whats on my mind to the right people, and how I coast along the slipstream of life far too much of the time.

I have decided that I really have had enough of just being default Dan. I am the character in any video game that you keep just because it's easier and involves no change. Well no more. I will start by being more productive. I spend enough time at the computer it's about time I used that time productively. I have also decided that, well I don't spend any time really bothering about how I look, I just hove on whatever comes to hand, leave the beard, and gel my hair back. No more. I will be going a lot shorter on the hair front, going clean shaven, and taking more time over what I wear. I think at some point this will involve adding to my wardrobe with various things, for which I have ideas, but for now lets just say default Dan will be changing into Custom Dan, coming to a place near you soon.

This is the first of many broadcasts. Not all of them will be easy to read, or understand, but there will always be that certain truth:What follows and what has passed is, and always will be 100% pure Dan

*Peace, Love And Chocolate*

Dan
xxxx

A serious, if book based blog-please read and comment

2007-04-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, now I'm leaving myself a bit open with this, but anyone who's been around here long enough, and that will probably be everyone, 'cos very few people read this, as I'm lazy and don't bother to go round lots of blogs and invite people, but anyway...
I value the opinions of everyone that reads this, and so I'm going to put up the 2nd draft of the first chapter of a book which has been in gestation for 3 years now, which is being co-written by me and James Briggs. I wrote most of this, and he wen't through and added and changed bits(all of the dialogue was him). As I was saying before, this book was mentioned about 2 years ago on these very pages, and is currently on hold, but I thought now would be a good time to try and get it going again. So please read, hopefully enjoy, and if you would, comment. Thank you.

This isn't finished yet, and I warn you it isn't the wizard of oz, it is quite extreme, but I'm sure none of you will object...

A gentle breeze ruffled through the leaves of the trees like the rough hairs on the scalp of a silent giant watching over, casting even darker pools of black over the moist, autumnal bed of the forest below. Even a mist had formed across the ground like a very thin veil that night, almost as though hiding the eyes of a place alive with secrets. Secrets of mysteries befitting a spirits playground, that ominous presence a human’s imagination can make rise from the ground of a woodland at night. But of course not all spirits are the ghostly kind, the kind our mind evokes into reality, some are altogether more real. It was like there was another mist going through the woodland that night. It was like the trees knew what it was.
A single, simple leaf broke free from the tip of a branch near the summit of one of the mountainous trees. Caught on a sudden updraft in the otherwise gentle wind it is swept upwards out above the forests vast canopy. Taken up while catching a glimpse of a startlingly brilliant spectacle in it’s spiral, the dramatic scene is of a huge intricate mass of trees, an army gathered at night in a never ending cycle. All of this against the backdrop of a sparkling sky, with its hundreds and thousands of brilliant bright lights illuminating the darkness like an unblinking firework show caught in a snapshot. The leaf flutters for a few seconds in its heavenly heights, in a perfectly beautiful moment in time that overstates itself above normal existence.
Suddenly, rapidly, its swirling, then descending like a kamikaze messenger of mother nature, its journey ends on the sharp pointed branch of one of the trees which brought it into creation. It slumps limply, curling up, almost as if trying to maintain its last attempt for existence or life. The breeze that deserted it heads on seeming to promise more leaves a chance of something more than slavery to the branches. That particular leaf however was sliding down further on its impaling branch, enlarging the tear that ruptured the leaf without sap bleeding from the wound. A tiny wire reached out like the leg of an insect emerging from a green landslide.
Josephine reached out a hand and removed the leaf from the twig. Taking it in her hand and the breeze running through her long blonde hair she walked back to Charles, standing and looking upwards.
“It’s so real,” she said uneasily.
“But none of it is” replied Charles looking to her, sighing but smiling, thinking that hopefully this would all be ‘a distant dream’ as soon as possible. He would be standing with her under the watch of skyscrapers and the only trips to woodlands would be real ones with their children, who he hoped would exist soon, a creation he could be truly proud to be father of. He even imagined two daughters and a son, that would be nice, by a river, together as a family and laughing.
“But it will be soon,” said Josephine, letting go of the leaf and letting it fall to the ground.
“It will do some good,” he said without much enjoyment.
“And it will all be because of you,” she comforted him. “And we’ll be able to live the life we want soon, you’ll be free of this place.”
She took his hand and he took hers. Hand in hand they begun to walk again, two lovers through the woodland of synthetic trees with their morbid realism, and seeming to watch them. Him in a simple casual denim jacket and jeans with plain black top underneath. Her also in denim jeans but lighter, with a white sleeveless top with a simple silver necklace around her neck. Both physiques toned for their sex’s. Charles with a handsome face, roughly shaven, short hair and sharp perceptive green eyes. Her with long blonde hair trailing down her back, flawlessly toned skin on a toned complexion. Both of them filled with concern like others for the way the world seemed to be changing.
Unaware of the scale the government underground network was taking over, the infamous ‘big sis’ as it was called on the streets and in common place, had turned serious. The alternate name a joke for what people just believed over concern by some. Charles worked in a way for them now in the bold future, but he for one knew that here in these trees, a testing ground, the eyes were away. Ironically here in the wake of yet more enforcement of Big Sis he could walk free with the person he loved.
That whole forest was part of a government project codenamed ‘Project Reality’. An experiment into simulating life in its various forms, especially trees, which had frustrated scientists up until now, who had until recently been unable to realistically recreate any sort of plant, without something failing to respond in the designed way. This forest had been the breakthrough though, mainly because of Charles and his select team. Only, there was another government body who was also keen to use this opportunity to experiment, but in a different way. This other organisation specialised in surveillance, and was interested in expanding their equipment into undetectable cameras, so that they could watch people without any hint of knowledge. This was the next step in the cleansing of crime from the world. You can see them, but they don’t even know you exist. One layer and piece of
philosophy in Big Sis, or course the others running deeper and as sinister as the mist.
No, he didn’t trust the government, everything was so perfect, yet felt so wrong, so contrived. But it didn’t stop him picking up his pay packet all the same, which was what made him feel dirty.
But right now what he focused on as they seemed to float on the mist was his future with Josephine. And just then they had made it to where he was leading her. He pulled back a branch and Josephine gasped as she rapidly went past him into a small circle clearing. The most beautiful and otherworldly synthetic foliage you could imagine around her as she circled from the centre. The perfect night sky above, each one as if diamonds brought for her.
“It’s amazing,” she said looking to Charles.
“I thought you would like it. This area is all mine, none of that surveillance shit. We’re all alone right now, no one in the world can see us,” he said walking up to her with a smile the same as hers.
“And I couldn’t think of anyone better to be alone with on this planet,” she said moving in on him. Her hands slipping round his back. His arms wrapping round her in return. They kissed, both smiling. Once their lips parted he reached into his pocket, then opened his hand before her. In his palm was a red flower with its large petals laying out like a coral creature you might find at the bottom of the ocean, this one with a golden ring at it’s centre. The reason for him bringing her here blossoming in that very instance.
“Will you…” he asked as her eyes looked from the ring to him, cutting him off as she brought their lips together again. “I couldn’t think of a better time than now,” he said to her with a serious face which then dawned with a sweet smile once she released him.
“Of course I will,” was her answer as the real flower fell into the synthetic foliage.
He slipped the ring down her finger and once it was on fully they passionately embraced, both their hands seeming to mould each other with affection, delving into each others hair as though searching in the deepness of their souls. They both began to move backwards until they centred in the middle of the space then, overcome by their want for each other, both their bodies seemed to agree as they went down, submerging down into that mist akin to people sinking down into a sea.
Charles hands moved down her as their bodies thrived in unison. Then, on a bed of synthetic foliage Josephine opened her eyes and stopped kissing him. Charles raised his face from hers.
“What is it,” he asked softly stroking her face with his hand. Her face was filled with love but some pain too, like a little lighthouse in the distance searching for something.
“I’m not sure about conceiving our child here,” Samantha said up to him.
“That’s ok.”
“No it’s not, this place, your place, it’s beautiful…”
“Look,” he said soothing her before she could go on “We will have all the time we want too soon. If theirs a god, he’ll let us know when the time is right.”
“I’ve never heard you talk about god before?” she said fascinated.
“I’ve never had any reason before, but looking at you I think theirs a possibility…” he then broke out into a joking grin.
Josephine playfully punched him gently in the ribs and went “you…” but they both broke out into laughter as they kissed again.
Finishing this time Charles lay down in the foliage, half upon her with his face turned away beside hers sunken down into her shoulder like a pillow, and then said “it’s true though, your everything now, gods just a symbol for life and you have brought me closer to that.”
Josephine’s head was to her side at that point in the foliage he had created, looking into the mist and wondering what their futures held. Then she slowly turned her head towards him, her hand finding its way to his, coming up to his.
“Then god, life, couldn’t have made a better time,” she said into his ear.
He turned his face up towards her, just in time for her other hand to come over and lay on his cheek with it’s new ring. His face…
…smacked against the wall with as much force as his body. After the dull thud, and the sound of a rib cracking, like a snapping twig, he was left writhing in agony on the cold metal floor, moaning and clutching at his body like he was trying to pull himself together. The door flew open with malice a second time, the door he had been hurled through and he stopped screaming. While he was rolling around he got a brief, pain tainted view of his surroundings. He was in what seemed like a normal laboratory, with what seemed to be an operating table in the centre, surrounded by instruments of some kind, but any further detail he could not make out, with ferocious white lights seeming to make the ceiling an entire glowing panel.
The lab was clinically silent for a moment, and then only the sound of shoes on a cold, hard floor, making their way towards him echoed. He…
…slid his hands underneath her top, and slowly pulled it up and over her head, exposing her delicate breasts. Her nipples were erect and, noticing this, he began massaging them with his fingertips, circling around from the outside all the way to the centre, all the while gazing into her sparkling eyes, sharing the emotion with each other. They leant forward with tongues leading and touching first, eventually leading in to a loving kiss. Charles let his hand drop away from her breast, and started helping Josephine to slide off his jacket, and then his plain black top. He smiled at her again and…
…was now lying on the table in the centre, the operating table. He was thinking, but his brain was not registering the seriousness of the situation, as his thoughts drifted into thinking about how he hated being operated on, and he wasn’t too sure about not having anaesthetic… suddenly his mind snapped out of it as he noticed that he was being watched by two men in white coats, who were looking incredibly calm, but incredibly cold. They exchanged words for a few seconds, but nothing he could hear. He was beginning to wonder if it was all a dream as his mind started to wander again, turning to thoughts of flying, floating through the air on a cloud, relaxing, reclining, smiling. All of a sudden the cloud turned black, and he stumbled, falling from it, and hurtling downwards until he hit solid ground with a thud, and his mind, panicking, focused sharply into attention in time to see a large needle about to be embedded into his arm, his vein. His eyes bulged with pain, as the razor sharp needle pierced him like a poisoned arrow straight through his earthly body, tearing his world apart with the ease of a sharp word through heavily tensioned air. He looked down at it, and…
…playfully ran his hand over her crotch, before lowering his head, leaning down, and positioning his hands either side of her. He slowly, but carefully ran his tongue down her torso, starting at her neck, down her chest all the way to her navel. Her face was a painting of pure joy amongst the flowers. Charles now came back up to her breasts, and lowered his head so he could reach out with his tongue and gently lick her nipples, the right one first, then the left. Then her started sucking the right one before raising his body again into a kneeling position at the base of Josephine’s legs. Slowly, gently he slipped off her jeans, then removed his, like a snake shedding its skin. By now, their anticipation was great, and they were eager to go all the way. Josephine slipped her knickers down her legs, the slid them off completely, exposing her smooth, shaven vagina, which lit up Charles’s face for a moment, breaking into a wide smile as he once again lowered his head, but this time further down on her body. She let out a cry as he slid his tongue into her, massaging her clitoris slowly at first, then faster. A single droplet of sweat gathered, then trickled slowly down his…
…agony masked face, until it got to his chin, where it fell, and scattered into tiny drops on the cold stone floor. The faceless torturers looked on, emotionless. He was caught in a nightmarish dream world created by whatever they had put in him. He could see his emotions running around as little people, encircling his body. Suddenly he saw red, everywhere, killing everything, but that was all he saw. His mind did not register details, it just informed him of death. Suddenly he made as if to double over, but his restraints held fast. Something was happening inside him. Something weird, something painful, something…then he really felt the poison kick in, melting reality and replacing it with a nightmare world in which pain ruled and he was its bitch. His body rippled with pain…
…as her screams became louder and more frequent, Charles decided it was time. He stopped, and slowly looked up into her eyes, the held eye contact for a moment before she nodded, and he pulled his boxers down, and then off his legs, and stood there, naked. He struck a pose, and her response was a giggle. He laughed, the in a sudden burst, he was down on top of her. They looked at each other lovingly for a moment, then he got into position and gently eased his erect penis into her. She let out a slight moan, and then motioned for him to continue. Charles responded by starting to slowly slide his penis out, then in again in a smooth motion. His piercing eyes…
…started to lose their sharpness, while he saw a blurred figure walk up to the table he was on. They stood there a moment, watching him. He then saw the unmistakable outline of another needle being readied, but this one looked different. He couldn’t make it out properly, but it appeared to be thicker. He braced himself for another injection in his arm, but watched as they brought the needle down towards his head. They moved to behind his head where he couldn’t see them, and he began to panic, and let out a slight whimper just as they thrust the thick, brutal needle deep into his brain. He went as if to scream, but nothing came out. He tried to speak, but he seemed to be moving in slow motion., as if underwater. A small, bright pink banana walked into his line of sight and sat down on the end of his nose “You really are losing it!” the creature informed him. He screamed…
…with her, as the rhythm increased speed. They locked tongues, licking each others, and embracing their lips. He moved his hands from the ground to underneath her, grasping her firm buttocks between his hard but gentle hands. He used this to help himself push into her, and she in turn grabbed his, and grabbed a firm hold of his muscular behind. They were getting close now, her screams a white wedding of love and ecstasy under a veil, her breath trying intensely to break through the sexual, exotic, invisible cloth, allowing the ease of her passage open to him, and his passage into her, making…
…his veins like rivers overflowing with evil and flooding his body while destroying his self and dampening his soul, the poison harvesting his body of good and planting the seeds of evil. His features crumpled as the devastating kick of the poison tore through his already ravaged body, his face a mask of torturous pain, as he grew ever weaker. His thoughts drifted as the ethereal visions of his poisoned mind began to control him, take over his conscious thought, unburdening his sense of self and overburdening his mind with the evil of men unfamiliar with guilt…
…and then with Josephine’s extremely erect nipples. He was now slowing down, then speeding up, kissing her, felling her warm, cute buttocks. He was licking her nipples, sucking them, then going back to kiss her again. It was approaching, and the noise was best described as the noise people make when they are nearing the peak of joy. Then it was time, and they came together, the climax tearing through their hot quivering bodies like a wave of joy, and as they both surfed on it, they held their position. The savoured the moment, the best they had ever had, and lay down exhausted but joyful, while…
…the red hot needle cast dancing shadows upon the eerily white, spotless walls as its heat haze preceded it in drawing droplets of fear from the quaking mass of DNA unravelling before it. An abominable scream bolted out of the convulsing man as the tip calmly slid into his penis. A nauseating odour rose, the stench of melting flesh filling the air alongside the smell of extreme terror, as the visage of a man possessed spewed forth a cry of agony. His scrotum seemingly retreated back into his body like a snail retracting from its aggressor, as his body fought in vain to control itself as pain overcame all, and he blacked out. The lights were switched off, and he was left alone in the dark of his absent mind.

We are where the music is!

2007-04-13T10:57:00.001-07:00

Ok Ok Ok Ok!!!!

Right, I now have, wait for it...

THE INTERNET AT HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Long time coming eh?

Well now, I can finally blog on here with some regularity,i.e, when I want to, or have something to say, not whenever I can make my way to the library, and have only a limited time to write what I want.

So expect me to be posting A LOT. At some point soon I will be writing a blog about what you all missed while I was 'away'. But for now, I'm off out. To the pub, see you soon!

How utterly poo

2007-03-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

That title is just sooo unrelated to the post.

Which is about Wii

Does anyone else have it?
Great little machine.
Fun, and excercise-in one!
Needs more good games though, Zelda is ace but one game does not a great console maketh.
Waving your arms around like a fool is also a very social exercise, which is good, although
Wii arm may have to enter the dictionary soon.

Anyhoo...

The time for mourning has passed
the beautiful morning shall rise
my soul is a righteous place
but there is no place in life for heart

the mouth is the ruler of kingdoms
the brain is missing what happened
to all the intelligent saviours
inventing us into the future

faceless technolgy broadens
playstation a god to millions
technology wows who cares
recycled ideas make a quick buck

never mind all the plastic millions
they are sonys brainwashed minions
in our own mini revolution
we can be smug of our own intentions

open your eyes broaden your view
challenge and change they are within range
we cannot be complacent our energy misspent
we must fulfil ourselves not corporate machines

well why not, I couldn't help but write some poetry
Good, bad, other?

Goodnight, and good luck

And now for something somewhere else

2007-03-22T05:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, I shall resume normal service soon, I promise, but until then, If you would care to scoot over to http://www.flying-monkeys.blogspot.com there is a new blog up there for you all to admire and comment on at your will. See you in the future!

I am a lazy

2007-03-08T10:30:00.000-08:00

I know I don't come on here nearly enough, but that will change soon(fingers crossed) as I should be getting the internet soon. So bear with me. In the meantime, I look different, see my profile pic!

I shall be back properly soon, hooray!

I'm Back!

2006-05-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

Ok Ok Ok. But what does it really mean?
In the context used, who knows, but in the context of 'I'm not Ok I promise' it means jack shit.
Enough of that, I've had enough of that.
Fun stuff: The Surrealist
You must go there, it is brilliant.
Ok, I assume you went there, and have now come back(you better have gone there, or else you will get a large feeling of stupidity on discovering how great it is)
Ok, NOW assuming you have been there and come back...I have an interesting question to pose you all
My cruelty/a moth without beauty/a pity/I can't see/the pity/when they see me/I'm bitter/why should I care/the flowers/are all around me/I crush them/I hate beauty/my butterfly/is hidden within me/my pity/is always with me/but do they see/why can't they see
My dark place/Is full of light/I block it/the light is far too bright/I mutate/into a creature of the night/I can't wait/to step back into the light/but I'm afraid/I might melt/but why/should I be full of guilt/and loathing/mixed with fear/thats not fair
My butterfly/is glistening so bright/in the darkness/it is bringing the light/it is beautiful/to not be afraid/to shine/and care once again/never mind what I felt like before/because the darkness/surrounds me no more/I love the sunshine/and people once more/the moth/once attracted to light/became a butterfly/and look at it shine
My question is, what do you think? I will say this:I had no intention of writing when I sat down at this computer, and I had nothing of this planned. It just...flowed. So, good or bad?

Tagged With A Pink Machine

2006-02-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

I blame Rob

The Rules: The first player of this game starts with the topic "five weird habits" and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says "You have been tagged" (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.

Of course I don't have any bad habits, so I'm not going to be doing this...Well if you insist...

1.I tend to not talk enough to people I've just met, not start conversations enough with new people. But if you know me long enough, sometimes it's hard to get me to stop talking...but I only ever talk about music, films and games...and random weird shit(I was talking to someone about penguins being created by people getting so hungry they ate their own legs, then had their feet attatched to their hips, and because of the insensitive comments from people, they moved to quieter places)

2. I have difficulty making decisions sometimes, meaning I will stay in one place for aaaages deciding something...which can be quite annoying-watching me look at one thing then another, them go hmm, is not the most interesting thing in the world, although I may start dancing while I'm deciding next time, that way I'm entertaining while I'm doing it.

3. I am (apparently) a very fussy eater. I disagree, I am of discerning taste...

4. I am single, although maybe this only bothers me...
Ok, a proper one...I leave all things to the last minute, meaning I am always almost on time.

5. I am pretty much un-shockable. I can watch any sort of extreme movie and not be shocked, also, I have a habbit of extending this into conversation, meaning some people think I am weird/evil. I say I'm both but I don't see either as being bad(evil, yes, but not bad)

Ok, they were pretty crap. My chosen friends/victims are...

1.Janey
2.Carla
3.Krish
4.Becca
5.Bonnie

I'm reviewing...the situation...

2006-01-05T09:21:00.000-08:00

So an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Vicar, a Priest and a Rabbi walk into a pub and the barman says what is this, some sort of joke?

Well it made me laugh anyway.
It's from the film Keeping Mum by the way, which is great. Hurrah for British comedy!
"You must play the role of little clitiris"
"I can't sir"
"And why not?"
"Well sir I am Allcock, I fear the role of little clitiris is outside my range"

Another great line from a great british film, the Libertine, starring Johnny Depp as the Earl of Rochester. He was great in the role obviously.

"Do you fuck chickens?"

2006-01-05T09:17:00.000-08:00

Well I had a pleasant surprise at work today. I found that a comment from a customer had been written in the store diary. It was about how helpful I had been, and it cheered me greatly. Thank goodness for polite customers, and a big fat bollock to the rude ones, may you rot in the hell of your own impoliteness forever when you die, and may that be soon!

I'm happy really though, honest!

"The last thing I need is a load of horny robots running around and knocking over shit"

2006-01-05T08:59:00.000-08:00

This is a post about SOMETHING

So I was sitting here in the library as usual and I thought to myself
"I wonder what I could post about today, I don't really have anything to write"
"I know! I'll do one of those really random posts where I just make some creative writing up on the spot and see what happens"

This is that creative writing...

So I was looking out of the window and I was wondering...what could be out there, I mean we don't really know much beyond our solar system do we. We are a tiny microscopic dot on the vast canvas of space. Wouldn't it be cool to be able to find out what existed beyong our little part of all this...
There exist in this universe, and infinite number of everything, because it cannot truly end. This is just one small story from one tiny planet...
It began during the middle of the night, and the sound that was created was enough to wake up everyone on the planet. I got out of bed more quickly than I ever could have believed possible at the strange explosion of sound that suddenly burst into our world. I looked out of the wildow, and saw only darkness. I froze with panic. What the hell was happening. The noise started pulsing, a strange sound that while not unpleasant was menacing, and struck fear into me. Whatever was happening, it wasn't good.
I srinted down the stairs, tripping and crumpling into a heap. I ignored the searing pain in my shoulder, and pulled myself up. By the time I got to the door I felt much bolder. I threw it open, ready to face whatever was out there. I was not afraid...
There was nothing there. By nothing I mean complete darkness. Not ordinary darkness though, it was as if it was the dark of space, but it wasn't space. I suddenly felt very afraid again. I stumbled backwards, but tripped on something, I could not see what, and stumbled...stumbled straight out of the door, without time to grab the doorframe, I flailed desperately to no avail. I braced myself for whatever would happen.
I fell onto something. What I could not tell you. I looked down and I was suspended in mid air. It was as if I was floating on a mysterious pillow. I stayed still, unsure what I should do. I was only a metre from the doorway still. I had the strangest sensayion I was being watched. I began to get up, but just then a strange voice came drifting out of the darkness. it said...

I have no idea what is going on here, or if it is any good, but thats what happens when you write randomly.

Until the next time...

...and one for luck

2005-12-30T04:35:00.000-08:00

Right. As the harsh winds of winter whip at our skin, tanning it with frost, our spirits should remain high, and our warmth should come from within. I say this because the few days leading up to christmas saw where I work awash with the misery of all the scrooges who think of christmas as a time to be a miserable cunt rather than be happy and enjoy it. I really don't need hordes of miserable people ruining my day. Is there any need to be so rude to us retail staff? Don't they think we are people too, or do they just not think. We don't make the rules. If we are out of stock is it our fault? No it bloody well isn't. The ammount of customers that felt the need to take out all their christmas blues on us was disheartening to say the least. I was still polite to all of them, more to be able to say that I did my job well than anything, but it really pissed me off. Retail staff have to be polite, and if you abuse them, more often than not, you will have made their day (even more) miserable. They can't show it, but why do it? I have to be happy and polite to hundreds of customers each week, thousands sometimes, especially around christmas. All the shoppers have to do is go into a few shops and say a few words. Would it really take that much effort to be polite?
So next time you're in a shop. Be nice to the people behind the counter, obviously provided they are doing their job and being polite to you. It doesn't take much.
Rant over. A happy(drunk!) new year to all of you, and happy shopping!

All together now...

2005-12-30T04:33:00.000-08:00

Merry christmas to you all. Sorry I'm a bit late, but as I can only access the internet in the library, I wasn't able to post anything before now. Also, may you all have a merry new year as well. I know I will!

Shrine

2005-12-19T09:08:00.000-08:00

Best Book: Neil Gaiman-Sandman...I can't remember which one
Runner Up: I really should read some of the many books I have, but finding the time or patience isn't easy anymore. Especially makes me feel guilty because I love reading so much and used to read so much...well at leasy my new years resolution is easy.

Best CD: Porcupine Tree-Deadwing
Runner Up: Ginger-Valour De Chorazon
Favourite old CD heard for the first time: Onthe sunday of life-Porcupine Tree
even though I've not heard it yet. But I know its going to be good. It might even overtake deadwing.
Live Event: Porcupine Tree at the sheaperds bush empire was great.
Favourite Song: Ooh, hard...lazarus by porcupine tree maybe
Favourite Old song heard for the first time: Nine Cats-Porcupine Tree
Most Irritating Singer Ever: Just one? Westlife, Il Divo, Gerard Way of my chemical flatulence, and the list goes on...
Person(s) I'd most like to smack in the face: Whoever was behind the crazy frog.
Honourable slugging: All of the singers I listed above for crapness, and the guy who is behind crazy frog...again
Hero: Ginger
Heroic second: Tie Between Lemmy, Peter Jackson, and Steven Wilson

Favourite TV show: Farscape. Ok, it's been cancelled, but nothing even comes close.
Honourable second: Top gear is great, and the simpsons.
Favourite Film: Devils Rejects and King Kong
Favourite old film watched for the first time: So many...maybe save the green planet or oldboy, or boys don't cry, or...
Favourite shop: Virgin. Well they pay my wages, so what do you expect?

Crappiest thing that happened (in a tongue in cheek way - you don't need my misery):
Wildhearts splitting up maybe?

Well here's a jolly story...

2005-11-10T09:05:00.000-08:00

I'm actually going to get around to something I said I would in a previous post!
Thats right!
Yup, as I said I would, I'm going to give you lucky, lucky people some reviews of some films I have watched recently. Here goes...

Oldboy
Lets start with a nice light Korean film involving incest. An award winning korean film involving incest at that! As I have been discovering over the last few years, and the last few months especially, there are fewer boundaries on a film-makers creativity in eastern cinema. They make probably the most outrageous films in the world, and brilliant films as well, not just shock value films that don't really try and make a film around their shock value. This is one of the latest films to challenge viewers. It isn't a simple film. It has twists and turns, and the story is one that would almost certainly never get made in the west. It involves a man who was imprisoned for 15 years without being told his crime, then released and given 5 days to find out why he was imprisoned. But along the way, the tangled web of intrigue you would expect throws up a fantastic story, which really grips you, and although some extreme parts of the film may put off some people, I would recommend this film to anyone who likes their cinema bold, with a great story and great acting. Not to be missed
9/10

Tetsuo:Iron Man
Headfuck. One long cinematic, black and white fit inducing nightmare headfuck. That is the best way to describe this film. It is probably the boldest film I have ever seen. I have never seen anything remotely like it, and althouggh it lasts just over an hour, what you have seen will linger in your head long after. A prime example of Japanes cinema. One you should all see.
8/10

Save The Green Planet
If ever a film deserved the label 'utterly bonkers' then this is it. It concerns a youn man, Byung-Gu, who is perfectly normal. Apart from believing aliens are trying to infiltrate the earth. Aliens that communicate through their hair. This is another brilliant Korean film, at a time when the film industry over in asia has never been better. This film has the most bonkers storyline I have ever seen, and it also has some of the best acting I have ever seen in a foreign film. Sometimes it is hard to really connect with the characters when the film is in a different language, but this is one film where you can really empathise with the characters, even through the language barrier. It also helps that it has obviously been a labour of love. It feels like someone has poured their soul into this movie, and after I had watched it, I felt like I had really experienced something. If a movie does that to you the you know you have watched something special.
10/10

Hellraiser 2 & Hellraiser 3
I had already seen the first one long before I decided it was time to watch the first 2 sequels, and I had high expectations for these films. I wasn't too disapointed. They are both really good films. There are some really inventive set pieces and creatures, and also some very funny moments, as well as a few great lines. It does help that the creations of Hellraiser are some of the greatest monsters ever, and also that creator and director of the first film, Clive Barker, is involved in both of these, although not as director. Obviously if you are not a fan of horror movies then these films won't be for you, but they are both highly entertaining, with great moments.
Hellraiser 2: 8/10
Hellraiser 3: 7/10

Cat Returns
A fine film from studio Ghibli, who are gaining a worldwide repuatation for their animation and storytelling. This is, from what I can gather, the only one of their films to have an english dialogue track, and this may upset some purists, but what doesn't work on live-action films, works great on animations such as this. A very different film from most of the others I am reviewing here, it is a family flilm, and one that people of all ages can enjoy. It a very well told magical tale of a girl who's life isn't going great. Every day is 'one of those days' for her, and she's sick of it. Then one day she save a cat from getting run over, and this prompts events that will change her life. I watched this film with a smile on my face all the way through, it may not have flesh eating zombies, but what it lacks in any sort of horror it makes up in heart, soul and a great story. If you're a big softie at heart, you'll like this
8/10

Thats all for today, to be continued...

I will die...and so will you

2005-10-29T04:05:00.000-07:00

You will swallow some tacks. You are a little
weird, maybe not so much in a good way. Buy a
yellow tie and wear it on your head.

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla

Back So Soon?

2005-10-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

You wait for a post for ages, and all of sudden 2 come along!

Well I didn't get a chance to post much yesterday, due to being kicked(not literally) off the computer I was on in the library, so I shall make a longer post today.

But will I have any idea what I am talking about?
Do I ever?

I shall start by bemoaning the state of television. Seriously, if you only have terrestrial tv like me, and have nothing to do during the day, you are subjected to a barrage of house moving and/or renovating programmes. Either them or endless antique shows. Who could possibly want to watch all of them, or for that matter, any of them. Surely everyone must be sick of them by now. Whats worse is th BBC, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that it wants to phase out all repeats. So what doeas that mean. At a guess, more endless crap antique house moving bollocks.
Fucking hell!
The fact that I don't watch much tv at all, as I always have much better things to do with my time is beside the point.

Also on my agenda today is music. I ahve been slacking on the gig front lately, and I really must make up for this. I will of course be going to see motorhead in november, and hopefully porcupine tree in december. Also I need to see activem in november, and the yo-yo's in december. Maybe also planet of women supported by JOANovARC in december too. I really hope I get to go to all of them, butI fear I may be deaf by christmas. Oh well, fuckit.

Also, I have been watching a rather large ammount of films recently, ranging from seeing blockbuster american action films at the cinema(serenity and lord of war), to seeing british films at the cinema(wallace and gromit), to watching a barrage of asian horror(happiness of the katakuris,gozu,visitor q,ichi the killer anime,battle royale,and more), mixed with american horror(childs play) with added american drama and action(boy's don't cry, shawshank redemption,sin city) all at home. It's enough to make any sne brain melt. Good thing I'm not entirely sane then.
All the films I've listed have been either good or great, and I will review them properly at some point. I have more to watch too!

As my first post at length for a while draws to a close I shall leave you with a few words of wisdom from someone who has infinite wisdom.

"everything you plan is shit. All the good things that happen in your life are accidents"
Lemmy Kilmister of motorhead

On that note I shall bid you a fond farewell, and if you have any suggestions about topics I can post about, I would be most obliged if you commented, for I can talk bollocks abou almost anything.

Good-night goodbye, and god(or satan, depending on your inclination) bless.
Now fuck off and find something better to do :p

EROTIC Little Red Riding Hood

2005-10-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

In the company of wolves is basically that. I think thats the title anyway. I haven't seen the film, but thats basically what it says it is...well it mentions little red riding hood and erotic, so...

Now dtm tries to get his head round doing an actual post about something, instead of writing random shit...no offence to random shit.

Right. I know I said I would post more, but I'm slacking again, so I really, REALLY must post more. Don't let me get away with it any more. Poke me until I post.

Filmage is on its way soon I hope. For those of you who don't already know about it, go here.
Also, there will be a website up before too long, which will act as a hub for information to do with various productions and stuff.
Any suggestions about a good site to buy a domain from would be much appreciated.
I'm being kicked off now, so until the next time.

...and he's back

2005-09-28T05:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in aaaages. Why. Well...I couldn't be bothered to be honest, and had nothing to say anyway. I have been busy though, what with my full time employment that started this month. WOO!!
Anyway, I thought I'd post again because I actually have something to post about. Well, I have been helping to make a film. Some of you may already know this, but for everyone else, it might be of interest. Only a small, no-budget film with some mates, mind...but all the same, it was great, and it looks like it's going to be great when it's edited together.
I have also been co-writing a book, and working on various other projects, including founding the church of rock 'n' roll, and putting together a production company. All this is very exciting, and kkeps me busy, so life's not too shabby at the moment. Also, I'm going to a gig tonight for the first time in ages, which is great, as one of my favourite bands split up recently, so I need to get back to seeing other bands live, and I can't wait.

I promise to blog more, and put something more interesting up next time, but until then...farewell, and thanks for all the fish!

Long Live The Wildhearts

2005-08-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I have been lazy, but I have another 5 blogs elsewhere which I usually post on, and no Internet at home, so I have very little time to post on here, however, I will make time today.
Now I just need to think of something to say...ah yes The Wildhearts. I am currently listening a lot to the Japanese best of, with its bonus disc of b-sides, all of which are great of course. I have also purchased Landmines And Pantomimes, which is also great, and now one of my fave wildhearts albums, even though it isn't really a proper album.
Apart from this I have been looking for new bands to like, with skull tanker, deckard,crucified barbara currently at the top of the pile. I have so many new CD's I am almost drowning in music. This is a good thing. Also, I have been listening to a lot of porcupine tree, a truly amazing band, who have somehow managed not to be huge, but their latest album, Deadwing has already been nominated for album of the year in the first classic rock awards, so hopefully the rest of the world can finally discover some proper music instead of shite like coldplay and James blunt(and the mother-fucking crazy fucing frog fucking fucking!!Ahem).

I have also been co-writing a book(which is going to be an epic, and is shaping up well), and helping to make an amateur film, which I am co-producing and acting in. Life is busy. For the moment.

I have been suffering from a lack of gigs though, mainly because of the ammount of money I have spent on CD's recently leaving me with no money with which to go to gigs. I really must remedy this soon though. Alas, the one gig I really, truly want to go to, I can't, because it is the Wildhearts at Scarborough castle. This is way too far away for me, and I am really sad at having to miss it. I just hope this is not their last performance, as I would miss the bastards.

Long live the Wildhearts, long live Ginger, long live rock 'n' roll!

Note-I stole this from on my blog on Myspace

Good Golly Miss Molly!

2005-08-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

No reason at all for that title other than that is what I felt like writing, which is a great reason!

In other news, today is the day that a long buried project has been resurected. It shall rise from the ashes(nothing to do with cricket) and shall punch its detractors firmly on the jaw, whereby they shall die.
Anyway, you may want to know exactly what I am talking about. I have, along with a mate of mine, resurected a book we were to write. It will be an epic, and you heard it here first! I may put up extracts from time to time, but whatever, I shall keep you informed.

So far we have done a lot of planning, and are at the stage where we can start putting together the first few chapters. But it is going to be a very extreme, very long and involved book.
More when more happens

As for the rest of this post, you may be interested to know that I recently saw 2 films.
These films were quite different, but each was magnificent in its own way. The films were The Devils Rejects and Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

First of all The Devils Rejects. Any of you who saw director Rob Zombie's first film, House Of A Thousand Corpses, will know what to expect, anyone else will only be able to guess. Both films are full of violence, gore, nudity, bad language, black humour, and are great as a result.
They are some of the most extreme films that have ever been on general release, and thats a good enough reason for me to go see them. Any fans of horror movies need to see this film, and the original. You sick bastards!

As for CATCF, well that is completely different, but no less brilliant. Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. reason enough to go see it. Here is another reason. IT IS GREAT. So go see it. Now! Go On. You still here? Bugger off! To the cinema!

Oh, and you will experience a craving for chocalate as a result of watching one of these films.

Rock 'n' fuckin' Roll!

2005-08-10T08:59:00.000-07:00

I was thinking. Why are there so many religions, but not a religion of rock 'n' roll?

Well there will be soon.

You shall not pass...go. Nor will you collect 200 gold coins.

2005-08-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

Well I have slipped back into being slack at posting, but I just haven't had anything I really wanted to say. I still don't really.

What I will say is I am currently drowning in new music, so I will probably do a post on that soon.

Until the next time...

From hell...
Dan

the wildhearts-sky babies

2005-07-22T06:26:00.000-07:00

Back on my planet, they laugh at my jokes
And everyone drinks and everyone smokes
No one speaks 'less there's something to say
There's no false words just telecommunique

Back on my planet you cannot tell lies
'Cos everyone can see it by the look in your eye
Parties all last for a couple of days
No one sleeps 'cos beds are prohibited

Back on my planet, silence is granted
We're laughing at the earthlings
Back on my planet, back on my planet

And meanwhileâ€¦

Back on my planet where dinosaurs roam
With uncut TV beaming into your home
As mother nature being eager and free
Money don't talk just givin' ability

Back on my planet, rules are all slanted
We're talkin' to be broken
Back on my planet, back on my planet, back on my planetâ€¦

Take a trip down an open road, all the eyes on an evening star
Gets to move a bit closer to the ground, like night at play
Wanna know what I need to know, wanna see that we ain't in charge
Where the superpowers will try to run it down
All alone, you're not alone
'Cos it's a meeting time for a different neighbour, small and slight and grey

There's something going on
There's something going on
There's something going on

Look into those eyes, it comes as no surprise
" It's little more than science fiction" the government replies
They could be taking our daughters, they could be taking our ladies
Making sky babies, sky babies, sky babies

I, I'm looking at the sky tonight, everything clear and defined, just like the last time
All ideas inside my head, anything like a real one
I'm looking from the floor tonight, weary of humankind
Tired of the chains that bind, wasting time on diatribe

And all the time the walls are closing in, I'm feeling stuck inside again
With something more divine than suicide, more generous than faith

'Cos when I see a new sun arrive, I'll be myself bathin' on the other side
A simple way to win with ease, I'll take a cheap seat please

'Cos you're the only one thing I wanna know
So won't you take me with you when you go
And there's a million feelings I wanna show
If you take me with you when you go

Yesterdays dreams don't mean nothing it seems
'Cos the big life keeps them waiting
And the people we find with another thin mind
They just don't care at all
And the halcyon days of innocence stays
As a memory plays it one more time
Here today, gone tomorrow

This is it in layman's terms, phenomenon of UFOs
Is well acknowledged by the state but secret to the president
Employed to be a public face and keep the public feeling safe
But higher powers in government hide something a million times
The size of the killing of JFK, the CIA are aware that higher
Powers exist with untold knowledge of life and death dimension
It could alter public awareness of religion, which is the only faith
That keeps us all in true control, and that's why we can never know

They're shaking and they're fucking us again
'Cos you're the only one thing I wanna know

So won't you take me with you when you go
And there's a million feelings I wanna show
If you take me with you when you go
'Cos you're the only one thing I wanna know
So won't you take me with you when you go
And there's a million feelings I wanna show
If you take me with you when you go
'Cos you're the only one thing I wanna know

wildhearts lyrics

2005-07-22T06:21:00.000-07:00

http://www.top50lyrics.com/w/wildhearts-lyrics-7661.html

A good place to go for them!

Brainsaw

2005-07-15T05:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I just love that title(It's a Therapy? song dontcha know)(and yes that question mark is 1. Supposed to be there and 2. Spiffing)(also they are a fantastic band, who are great live, and there is a link to their wonderfully title therapyquestionmark.com website in my sidebar over there)(also they are Irish)(if you find that at all interesting)(which you probably won't)(you may be wondering why I am using so many brackets, well I can assure you that is also what I am thinking)(that and peanuts)(coated with Elephant)(ferjhgrehtgfrwehtghrwuhtguhreuhg)

I've Got A Bike, You Can Ride It If You Like...

2005-07-15T04:39:00.000-07:00

As the voice of the silent majority, of which I am no longer a member, obviously...speaking for those people that would have shot that burglar a third time...

I am yellow. Hello.

With the advent of 'intelligence' came great responsibility, which mankind bore with their typical style...they competely fucked everything up. Mother nature lies crying onto a broked flower, lying wilted in the smoke, and vows her revenge. Mankind must be stopped. They have the ability to create and destroy. For shame then that they use their ability to create, but create that which will destroy. We truly are devoid of humanity, which reeks of an irony we could not appreciate...

I would like to say this.
And just have

With colour comes life, with life comes the certainty of death, with this there is the uncertainty of reincarnation, and because of uncertainty, we are always more alert, because without all knowledge of the reasons and answers about the simple thing in life we are always searching for something...
I would like to start something...all you have to do is comment on this post, and I will write the inner meaning behind what you say.

Over to you...

I am what I am not

2005-07-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

I will be in the pages of a forever open book of existence in which the fools, the legends, the stupid, the brave and the worthy and the rest will lie in print beside me, and we will be bound by the same spine, but although we are all of the same origin I will never be the same as them, for I will not sell my soul for money, my eyes look upon people with kindness, not with scorn and disregard, and most important, I am me, and they will never change that. I shall live on among the worthy, while they will be forever indexed under sin. History does not look so kindly upon you once you have departed, as wealth does not pass over, unless it is true wealth, true richness...that which lies in my soul. I can live forever pround and happy. You will not be as such beyond this earth, you may be wealthy now, but I will be rich forever.

Well that was an interesting thing to happen. Occasionally, it just pours out, wether it is any good or not is up to you really.

But as in life, in death I shall be buried underneath the dirt that is poured upon me.

I have no idea what goes on in my head sometimes. but it sure is weird up there. I'm sure someone must have wired me wrong, not that I'm complaining-Weird is good!

Forever shall I walk the Earth, because never will the fucking buses stop for me godamn!

Ok, this is turning out weird but I shall keep at it, but at the moment sanity in this area ia about as stable as a fat man balancing on a teacup.

But to be fat is to benot a thin man inside a fat mans body, but indeed a fat man...in a fat mans body

What the hell am I writing? Only those who know know, but who knows if they know that I don't know except to think that they know when I really know nothing of the sort, and in fact my confusement can be measured in knots that my brain is tying itself in as we speak. For is it not said that in order to know yourself you must know what you know. No, me neither?

I am in fact not entirely sure why I am still writing, or indeed, if I should check myself into the mental ward when I go to the hospital tonight, instead of going to hospital radio.

And now for something completely different...
I saw heavenly creatures recently, and it reminded me why peter jackson is one of my favourite directors. I think all his films are great. I have seen 7 of his films and thought all of them were amazing, and what more can you ask for. I am also really looking forward to King Kong, and I'm sure it will be great. I also saw the tie in book for the collaboration between Neil Gaiman and the Henson company yesterday, and it looks amazing. The henson complany are held dear in my heart because of one thing-Farscape. That was the only T.V series that made me instantly happy as soon as I watched it. No matter how shit I was feeling, Farscape would make me feel better. It could make me laugh, cry and feel on top of the world, and all in all it is, for me, by far the best thing on tv ever. I mean that. Farscape was so good, but the audience was so fickle, and it was sad that it came down, in the end, to audience figures dropping so low they had to cancel it. It actually got more viewers over here for most of the last season than it did in america-yes, this tiny island had more people watching it than the entirety of america, where figures were as low as 1.2 million. They went up to 2.2 million over here, which they never toppen in the last season over in america. It was just too complicated for americans to follow. It became too 'in'-you had to have been following it to have any idea of what was going on. It was a real shame, but there are 88 43minute long episodes and a 3 hour special, which was made possible by the fans complaining when the show was axed(they axed it without warning, so it was left on a cliffhanger-with no prospect of it being resolved-that was really shit of the execs). If you have never seen Farscape, go out and discover it now-you won't be dissapointed.

Well I have gone on far too long, and I am going to finish now by saying thank you for reading my blog, I am honoured that someone would take the time to read something I have written. Thank you, it means a lot. *big hug to you all*

Thats all folks

For now...

I'll be back...

Greetings from shitsville

2005-07-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

For any of you that don't know(that'll most likely be all of you except rob then) that title is the title of a wildhearts song. I'm not all that unhappy at the moment really(no more than usual anyway) but I thought it would make a good title.

On to the post, and I may as well inform you at this point that I have no idea what I am going to write in this post, I never do. I just completely make it up off the top of my head. So what the hell shall I write, hmm. I know, no I don't...YES I DO!!!!

I will write about nothing,

Well that was interesting, and a complete waste of space, but that was in fact the first thing that came into my head. I have been in a pub though.

Or I could write about how I think that the satanic bible is a book I was considering buying today. These are the 9 satanic statements...I thought they were quite fair really. Especially IV, be kind to people that deserve it, well that is quite fair. I know this could sound like I am nast and evil, but I'm just curious about the subject. I also don't see much evil in these 9 statements.

I
Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence!
II
Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
III
Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit!
IV
Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates!
V
Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek!
VI
Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires!
VII
Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those who walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development," has become the most vicious animal of all!
VIII
Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
IX
Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!

The 9 satanic sins are a bit more like what I thought satanism could be like, but still there are a lot of very valid points there.

1) Stupidity--The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.
2) Pretentiousness--Empty posturing can be most irritating and isn't applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. On equal footing with stupidity for what keeps the money in circulation these days. Everyone's made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods or not.
3) Solipsism--can be very dangerous for Satanists. Projecting your reactions, responses, and sensibilities onto someone else who is probably far less attuned that you are. It is the mistake of expecting people to give you the same consideration, courtesy, and respect that you naturally give them. They won't. Instead Satanists must strive to apply the dictum of "Do unto others as they do onto you." It's work for most of us and requires constant vigilance lest you slip into a comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As has been said, certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers, but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, from a Machiavellian viewpoint) we are from that point.
4) Self-Deceit--It's in the Nine Satanic Statement but deserves to be repeated here. Another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered is when it is fun, and with awareness. But then, it's not self-deceit!
5) Herd Conformity--That's obvious from a Satanic stance. It's all right to conform to a person's wishes, if it ultimately benefits you. But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonal entity dictate to you. The key is to choose a master wisely instead of being enslaved by the whims of many.
6) Lack of Perspective--Again, this one can lead to a lot of pain for a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making history right now, everyday. Always keep the wider historical and social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit the things together as you want the pieces to fall into place. So not be swayed herd constraints--know that you are working on another level entirely from the rest of the world.
7) Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxy's--Be aware that this one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something as "new" and "different", when in reality it's something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the "creator" and forget the original. This makes for a disposable society.
8) Counterproductive Pride--The first word is important. Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bath water. The rule of Satanism is if it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you've painted yourself into a corner and the only way out is to say, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we could compromise somehow," then do it.
9) Lack of Aesthetics--This is the physical application of the Balance Factor. It is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It is obvious that no one can collect any money off it most of the tome so it is discouraged in a consumer society, but is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for magical effectiveness. It's not what's supposed to be pleasing--it's what is. Aesthetics is a highly personal thing, reflective of one's own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.

These are also very fair, I don't see the problem with this at all. Maybe I should do more research so I can comment fully, but so far it seems a lot more sensible and realistic than christianity.

I
Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
II
Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure that they want to hear them.
III
When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
IV
If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
V
Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
VI
Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the person and he cries out to be relieved.
VII
Acknowledge the power of magic if you have used it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
VIII
Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
IX
Do not harm little children.
X
Do not kill non-human animals unless attacked or for your food.
XI
When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
Anton Szandor LaVey, 1967 c.e.

Now I'm not turning into a satanist, and I do realise that religion gives hope to people, and sometimes it can be great, but there is also a lot of rubbish that in not necessary, and these rules seem more useful in the society of today. But if I now find out it is also all about killing and all that then obviously I won't agree, but these are fair to me. Feel free to comment, or come at me with burning pitchforks...

The bar is that way...

2005-07-12T09:58:00.000-07:00

Well, lately I have been thinking a lot of, well lots of things, and I have come to the conclusion that life is generally unfair, and that, although we shouldn't accept it, there is not much we can do about it most of the time. I get pissed off by all sorts of things(terrorists for example, but I will do a proper, full post about that at some point, as it deserves my full on bile 'n' swear rant treatment). I have been annoyed by a loy of little things, but in the end, I have decided that I will not get worked up about it in a manner that will make me cynical and bitter(well not too much) but I will just write a rant, or rant to myself, and then just continue on my (not so) merry little way. Why? Well it is mainly because I hate being in a bad mood. I can be angry and something ang rant and soforth without needing to be in a bad mood. What is really the problem is other things. Generally other people. I do very little now, with weekends at work, the rest of the week is like a sunday, very little to do, and lots of time in which to do it. Except I have 5 days in which I have nothing to do. For some people this would be heaven. For me it is purgatory(I so spelt that wrong). It's not quite hell, but somewhere in-between. I seem to have no motivation to do anything, with writing more and learning the guitar top of my list, I seem not to get roung to it, or not have the motivation to do it. If I got out more and had more to do it might help with things like this, but as it is, I can easily do nothing except go to the library in a week, and sometimes go to the pub on friday. Part of the problem is people. I know so many, but in the way that you see someone on the street you 'know' and talk to them, but never see them otherwise. I always seem to get on alright with a lot of people, but no more. I talk more to people on a friday night than I do in the rest of the week combined mostly. Of course the people I get on the most mith are blogger people. Typically, all the people I get on with on blogger are in some far off countery, or on the other end of this one. It really is quite annoying that I juat can't seem to make proper friends. In a week my mobile is virtually redundant, save from the occasional text from Rob(the_prisoner,mr. barbsification). Unfortunately, this is not just a recent thing. I have always had this, although it is almost to the point of being ridiculous when I now know more people than ever, but do less than ever. I always considered myself a loner before, but I don't know now, because I don't have so much of a problem with being in contact with people, but have less friends. Oh well. Bit of a change from my usual rants anyway, till next time people.

Oh for fucks sake!-Part1:It begins...

2005-07-07T10:32:00.000-07:00

In which Motormouth lists the top 100 things which piss him off, then dies from exhaustion, which then becomes No.101

Will I reach 100? Oh yes, I am quite easily pissed off by all sorts of things, and you will find out what they are. I'm going to have to do this in instalments obviously, but I will finish it. Sometime...

1. I was watching highlights of the Metal Hammer Golden God Award last night, and i was reminded of 2 things which really piss me off. First was bands screaming. I like to be able to hear what they are singing, and for it to be in some way audible some people I can stand screaming because I know what they are going on about, and it is at least distantly related to singing(Nick Oliveri for example) but some of the people on there were just horrible, namely Trivium(next big thing best new band in the world my arse) they are NOT the best new band or whatever superlatives are heaped on them, they just aren't. Also Chimara. The singer had very impressive dreadlocks, but that was the best thing I could say about the band. Screaming bands FUCK OFF. Or the screamed equivalent-graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhh
ffffffuuuuckofffffffrrrrrrrrr
fghhhhhhharrrrrrrrrghrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

2. That leads me on to the second one. Pits, namely circle pits, and all manner of other ones. Why do people feel the need to kick the shit out of everything to the music, and make sure they get hurt, and well not much else. No wonder metal is viewed as violent. What happened to good old headbanging eh? Why can't people just enjoy music as opposed to using as a way to create violence and hurt? The fact that the bands encourage this is not a good thing. Just say No people, and enjoy music. Surely thats not too much to ask?

Well, I only had time for 2 today, but I will be back with more soon!

Whats My Age Again?

2005-07-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

You Are 26 Years Old

26

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Dan flavoured Ice cream!

2005-07-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

You Are Rocky Road Ice Cream

Unpredictable and wild, you know how to have fun.
You're also a trendsetter who takes risks with new things.
You know about the latest and greatest - and may have invented it.
You are most compatible with vanilla ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

The Earth is a shoe, and we are shit(Part1:Cunt)

2005-07-04T09:01:00.000-07:00

I have been a bit lazy with posting recently, prefering to read other blogs instead, but I think I'm about ready to start again with a rant...

For a long time I have wondered what some people want out of life. Is their sole purpose something amazing, something ambitious, Or, as I increasingly suspect, something selfish and destructive. I live in a place that can only be described as 'I want to spend as little time here as possible'. Sure there are some good places and some good people here, but not nearly as many as there should be, i.e, there should be more good people than bad people, and ideally a great deal more. This is worrying. People are becoming, in general, more stupid, ignorant, and more selfish. Put simply, they don't care about anything worth caring about. I care about a lot of thing worth caring about. First among these is myself. I say this because people forget that it is important to care about yourself, otherwise your life is going to be a bit miserable really. You need to like yourself, because why shouldn't you? If there is something you don't like about yourself, change it. You are important, and you should know that. I like myself, and I always make decisions that reflect this, for example I think before doing something, is this right, do I really want to do this, and will I still like and respect myself afterwards? Now this may well come across as very selfish, but it is important. You need to be like it because if you don't care enough about yourself it could affect others. If you don't like yourself, then what are doing to make you not like yourself, and is it affecting others? The most important thing about this is that you cannot only like yourself and care about yourself. You have to care about a lot of things, in fact anything that is worth caring about. Take live8 as an example. You could care about all sorts of things, but there are still millions of people on the other side of the world dying for reasons that can simply be classed as stupid(in terms of our society). People are dying over there because of things we take for granted over here, don't give a second thought to. The rising obesity levels are a real problem, especially when, while you are stuffing yourself like a pig for the roast, there are people dying because they don't even have crumbs. But it's not our problem right? Wrong, because you need to like yourself, and can you do that if you know you did nothing about millions of people dying from preventable causes? I couldn't. If everyone thought like this then the world would be a much better place, because it is easy to be a selfish cunt who cares for nothing except booze, sex, money and himself. It isn't that difficult to be nice, but it is very difficult to be eveything you could be. You could do all you can for charity, make other people happy by giving them presents and time, help the enviroment by recycling and through not polluting. It is hard to do all this, but at the end of the day you would be able to sit back and think, what a great person I am, and how many people can say that? Not enough.

But thats not all I can think of to write, oh not by a long way. I have also been thinking about more complex things, like the deeper workings of the human mind. If someone is a cunt(I have started using this word a lot simply because nobody is going to drop dead if I swear, and also because language is a form of expression, and to accurately express just how nasty some people are, you need a strong word. If only there would come a day when there was no-one I could use such a word to describe, but alas, that day is not getting any nearer.) then why are they a cunt? Are they born like that? Maybe, but there must obviously be many intervening factors in how they got to where they are(the gutter of humanity) and why they insist upon staying there(and also how why they are not dealt with, in fact they are usually the most sucessfull people in life). We are supposed to be a superior race, but that is not the case, except for the minority that have risen above the petty squabbles, killing, greed and corruption that consume most people. We are shit, basically, that should be cleaned from off the shoe that is the Earth. We cannot be removed easily hower, having spread ourselves deep into the crevices of the Earth(shoe), and we are of course the particularly smelly type of shit, that, even once removed, leaves its stench lingering behind, as a reminder of its presence. We have also made the foot that wears the shoe smelly as well, through the running it has to do to try and get us off, and the clouds of stench linger in the atmosphere(...of the shoe).
That was one way of putting it anyway. But whatever, my rambling is down to life being shit(although not the same shit that was on the shoe, but a different kind, one that doesn't stink so bad, but there is more of it, and it comes along more often). Not all of it is shit, but there is a lot. Now I know I spent a portion of this ramble talking about Africa, and they do have it a hell of a lot worse than us(hell being the operative word), but that doesn't mean the problems we have should be discounted. I cannot list all that I would like to now, mainly due to time(I am in the library making this up as I type and with a time limit of 50 minutes per session that I need to use to do other things as well) but also to do with making this post too long. I will continue this at a not so later date...you have been warned...

Boo!

2005-06-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, me!!!!
I really haven't posted enough, but I have so many things to do, and so little time to do them in. I also only have access to the Internet for 50 minutes a day at the library. I apolagise for my lack of posting, and I will have something lengthy up soon! I promise!!

In the meantime, me and the_prisoner went to see Motorhead yesterday. Wow fuckind rock 'n' fuckin roll yeah!!

It was good, as you may have sumised. I will post upa review somewhere soon!!
Have a nice day!!

My Career?

2005-06-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

Withdrawn (I) 51.72% Outgoing (E) 48.28%
Imaginative (N) 75% Realistic (S) 25%
Emotional (F) 62.86% Intellectual (T) 37.14%
Improvised (P) 75% Organized (J) 25%

Your type is: INFP

You are an Idealist, possible professions include - information-graphics designer, college professor, researcher, legal mediator, social worker, holistic health practitioner, occupational therapist, diversity manager, human resource development specialist, employment development specialist, minister/priest/rabbi, missionary, psychologist, writer

Take Free Career Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

And about time too...

2005-06-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

I thought it was about time I got back to posting so HELLO!!
Yes, I just really have not had anything I particularly wanted to post about, and I still don't, but I usually come up with something part way through typing and go on and on and on and on, so here goes...

Well first of all I have been buying way too many CD's as usual, my latest buys are Motorhead-Live At Brixton '87, 2 Porcupine Tree albums and a 3 colours red
collection. This is in addition to the Best of the wildhearts album I got earlier this month, and the sons and daughters album which followed. As well as 2 white stripes albums, including the new one(which from what I've listened to so far I don't think much of). This is quite a lot, even for me. Oh, and the reissue of the clam abuse album as well, which is ace.

I have also quit college! YAY! Bastard place was awful, crap tutors and crap people, I'll do my own thing now thankyouverymuch! Starting with learning how to play the guitar!

Well, I have posted, and will find something more interesting to post about next time, but until then...

Demonic

2005-06-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

You scored as Demon. Demon: Darkness is your sanctuary.

Demons are many and are all different in appearence and rank.

The most common are the ones that feed off of human souls.

They love to make someone fall into their inner darkness.

Blood, wrath, murder... You name it they love it.

These beings don't care who you are, if they set their

sights on you, let's just hope you know a good excorist.

They kill any love within you and pull you toward their side.

By any means possible. You wish for chaos and hate,

you are the Demon.

Demon

67%

Dragon

58%

Angel

50%

Mermaid

25%

WereWolf

17%

Faerie

17%

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com

2005-06-02T10:22:00.000-07:00

I found this on Livewires blog-In the blink of an eye on the side thing over to your left

Googlism for: daniel abraham

daniel abraham is a leading american entrepreneur
daniel abraham is a new entry on the speculative fiction scenedaniel abraham is our senior vice president of business development
daniel abraham is buried by himself
daniel abraham is another new name for me
daniel abraham is a crime
daniel abraham is due back at training in mid december 2000 after knee surgery
daniel abraham is a jewish
daniel abraham is said to exist
daniel abraham is also the co
daniel abraham is definitely a player of the future and continues to develop as a back

And again!

2005-05-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying interview me.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each persons will be different.
3. You will update your journal / blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

1) Do you think that the world will ever be at peace? Why?
Nope, people are and always be stupid and greedy (in the majority)as a race, this will stop peace as much as the fact that a perfect world with peace is just not plausable with a species such as humans. We thrive on conflict generally, and those that don't are in the minority/not in a position of power.

2) Fav sport and team?
Football-Arsenal

3) What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
Depends on what is planned for the day as to whether I think good things or bad things. Not one specific thing I think of.

4) Write a short story, featuring rabbits (I see you are one, and byshort I mean it can be a paragraph if you want)
In the beginning, when mankind was in its infancy, and Christopher Lee was just a nipper, the planet was ruled by giant rabbits. They walked upright on their hind legs, and spoke in a basic but solid language. They had societies, and their behaviour differed between them, as a normal society does today.
They were going nicely, dominant species and that, when they began to get greedy. They began to form a democracy, which gradually turned into a dictatorship. It was corrupt, and the thirst bfor power tore them apart. Wars started, and decimated the population. They finally discovered a weapon which they thought would end the conflict. Fire. They knew fire destroyed, and without thought they let loose their final say in the war. Millions were killed, the race killed off as a dominant species, overcome by the greed, and the rising up of mankind. This was not the first time a species that looked so in control of itself had let stupidity destroy its time, and who knows if it will be the last. The story has become mirrored in our own society, and we have reached the part of finding the weapon. Wow far will we let it go...

That was completely of the top of my head, so there you go.

5) If you were a television character, who would you be?
John Crichton from Farscape

The force is strong in this one

2005-05-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

Star Wars Horoscope for Cancer

You may whine at times, but you've developed a thick hard shell (like that of a crab).
You are strong willed and persistent - until you get what you want.
You never shy away from a fight, even when things get dangerous.
Mentally sharp, you are starting to master the elements of mind manipulation.

Star wars character you are most like: Luke Skywalker

What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

2005-05-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

Hello...quickly!

2005-05-19T06:20:00.000-07:00

Just a quick hello, not much going on at moment except being ill and bored.
Also, a plug for my forum. I would be very grateful if you joined, as it is a bit quiet on there at the moment. Thank You.

Killed By Death

2005-05-13T02:38:00.000-07:00

If I was dead, would I be happy? I f I was to live a thousand years, would I be satisfied?
My fire that is burning, can it be extinguished? Can I rise frrom the flames of depression and soar again? Or will I fall and drown in despair?

My Personality

2005-05-09T06:32:00.000-07:00

Trait	.	low score	high score
Sociability	23%	socially reserved, detached	friendly, open
Aggressiveness	64%	mild mannered, uncompetitive	predatory, domineering
Assertiveness	82%	introverted, loner	controlling, aggressive
Activity Level	89%	relaxed, laid back	vigorous, high energy
Excitement-Seeking	53%	sedate, restrained	adventurous, wild
Enthusiasm	44%	somber, pessimistic	cheerful, optimistic
Trust	13%	suspicious of others	trusting of others
Submissiveness	23%	rebellious, lawless	dutiful, obedient, compliant
Altruism	41%	selfish, cold, austere	helpful, selfless, indulgent
Cooperation	7%	argumentitive, confrontational	conflict averse, meek
Modesty	16%	arrogant, self-satisfied	humble, unassuming, doormat
Sympathy	39%	callous, heartless	empathetic, warm
Confidence	60%	not confident in work	confident in work, egoistic
Neatness	44%	disorganized, messy	planner, clean, anal
Dutifulness	91%	dishonest, derelict	honest, rule abiding, proper
Achievement	41%	lazy, unmotivated	driven, goal oriented
Self-Discipline	77%	procrastinator	responsible, efficient
Cautiousness	52%	spontaneous, daring, reckless	careful, controlled, safe
Anxiety	41%	relaxed, fearless	fearful, worrier
Volatility	40%	calm, cool	touchy, tempermental
Depression	28%	content, balanced	emotional, self hating
Self-Consciousness	45%	confident, assured	low self esteem, shy
Impulsiveness	57%	high self control	low self control
Vulnerability	16%	resilient, unphased	confused, helpless
Imagination	79%	practical, realistic	dreamer, unrealistic
Artistic Interests	86%	artistic indifference	art, nature, beauty lover
Introspection	63%	not self reflective	self searching
Adventurousness	92%	conventional, safe	spontaneous, bold
Intellect	88%	instinctive, non-analytical	intellectual, analytical
Liberalism	82%	conservative, traditional	progressive, open

Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

I found this test by looking through the archives at

www.breakingtheangel.co.uk/evolution

2005-05-06T15:20:00.000-07:00

And thus, the shawl of Inadequacy was flung forth from her shoulders, her hair flying in the breeze as she was caught in a whirlwind of optimism and new-found confidence in how great she really was.
Those quisling fucks that bullied me, what do they know, they shall burn in the fires of the hell that their foul minds will create to punish them for their life of sin. I shall stand tall and proud, and they shall melt into a puddle of shit, destined to be cleared away to spare the shame of it. My journey starts here. From now on I will never again be held back, but will look forward and leave the past behind me where it belongs. Now is a new dawn of hope and I am the shining sun. Something special starts today, and tomorrow, the journey will start for real. Soon the whole world shall see. They will all see...

I am not really sure why I wrote this, I just sat down at the computer, started typing, and it came out. I may make more of it, create a full story from it.

Now... something, something, something...

2005-05-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

The pleading for mercy
The bleeding, no pity
A life, no meaning
Money is king
Greed its queen
A rule of power
No compassion
Hate, not passion
Death, no worries
Drown in money
Corrupted, but happy

Nil by mouth

2005-04-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

Fucked if I know what insane thoughts lurk in the dark crevices of my mind, brooding, and breeding, preying on the weak and the unsure to slowly invade my conciousness and infiltrate my waking actions. How can I control what I do not know, what can be done about the flowing lava of heated thoughts welling up and destroying all in their path, who are we to say what will and will not happen in our own minds, if not because of lack of control as a singular being, but as a whole, as a destructive force which cannot be contained by the will of the self within, but what we are without. True power. Those with it misuse it, those without it crave it, or pretend they have it, and so some, the ignorant, who are either lucky or foolhardy, depending on your view, just don't give a damn.
When it comes down to what the race of humans can do, the answer is simple. We can unite as one and contain the flow if ignorance and destruction. Mend the bridges in our mind leading to peace and cross the to safety in numbers. This planet of ours cannot withstand the attack of stupidity forever, and when, for it is indeed whwn not if, when that happens, we are doomed to a deserved fate of fools who let greed cloud sanity and reason, and that would be, as a whole, truly deserved.
We are god, not individually, but as a unit. We worship a being we cannot see, because we wish to pass the blame and the responsibility onto someone else. God will not help you, because he does not exist, except in each of us. We must save ourselves and others, not bask in the ignorance of our false saviour.
Our time will not come, it will be made. We will create it. It must happen, although, if the truth is told, we are not worthy of any more chances.

Who should you vote for?

2005-04-25T12:40:00.000-07:00

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Liberal Democrat

Your actual outcome:

	Labour 2
Conservative -22
	Liberal Democrat 32
	UK Independence Party 8
	Green 53

You should vote: Green

The Green Party, which is of course strong on environmental issues, takes a strong position on welfare issues, but was firmly against the war in Iraq. Other key concerns are cannabis, where the party takes a liberal line, and foxhunting, which unsurprisingly the Greens are firmly against.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

I'm Captain Jack Sparrow

2005-04-21T06:30:00.000-07:00

Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?

Just 'cos you got the power

2005-04-19T12:42:00.000-07:00

Motorhead-Just 'cos you got the power

You might be a financial wizard,
With a sack of loot,
All I see is a slimy lizard,
With an expensive suit,
Go on and run your corporation,
Go and kiss some ass,
You might buy half of the nation,
But you can´t buy class

You bastards think it´s funny,
Lyin´ and thieving all your life,
Think all there is is money,
Got your future strapped up tight,
Just ´Cos You Got The Power,
That don´t mean you got the right

You can take my fingers babe,
You can take my eyes,
You can take my past and future,
It won´t make you wise,
You can have me thrown in jail,
You can steal my booze,
You can even read my mail,
Step on my blue suede shoes,

You bastards must be clever,
Got it mapped out in black and whit,
But don´t forget you´ll never,
Get a dog to walk upright,
Just ´Cos You Got The Power,
That don´t mean you got the right

Go on out make another deal,
Feed your big fat face,
Go on out and cop a feel,
Get on somebody´s case,
You surely would be satisfied,
If you could have it all,
But time ain´t on your side,
You´re going to the wall

You think that life´s all dollars,
Greed and lust and spite,
But I wasnt born to follow,
Like to get my sleep at night,
Just 'Cos You Got The Power,
That don´t mean you got the right

Orgasmatron

2005-04-19T12:39:00.000-07:00

Motorhead-Orgasmatron

I am the one, Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.

I twist the truth, I rule the world, my crown is called deceit
I am the emperor of lies, you grovel at my feet
I rob you and I slaughter you, your downfall is my gain
And still you play the sycophant and revel in you pain
And all my promises are lies, all my love is hate
I am the politician, and I decide your fate

I march before a martyred world, an army for the fight
I speak of great heroic days, of victory and might
I hold a banner drenched in blood, I urge you to be brave
I lead you to your destiny, I lead you to your grave
Your bones will build my palaces, your eyes will stud my crown
For I am Mars, the god of war, and I will cut you down.

Gig overload!!

2005-04-19T11:47:00.000-07:00

Ok, well I was already going to see Motorhead on the 16th june. Motorhead are a great live band(seen the before) and it is their 30th anniversary gig. Next up was a plan to go and see electric eel shock(see a post I did a while back for more on them). I don't know if this is still going ahead due to current lack of money, but when I get paid I shall see about that. I also wanted to go and see 'A' (see links section) live. I may well go if there are still tickets left. I also still had hope that I could go to Download at Donnington, but this will come down to a lot of things, especially considering money and distance, not to mention lack of previous festival experience. Finally, I am now going to see Tori Amos live in June. This is down to James, a friend of mine who is paying for our tickets. June should be interesting, with a Tori Amos gig, then later in the month a Motorhead gig. Possibly a Metal festival in-between.
Live music is great though, and I am really looking forward to my forthcoming gigging schedule.
Rock 'n' fucking roll!!!!!

Dr. Who

2005-04-18T09:55:00.000-07:00

Well, after watching the first four episodes of the new Dr. Who, I can now say for certain that I am very impressed. The BBC has managed to update it, and make it work. It isn't quite the same as the previous classic incarnations of the show, but it is very entertaining, and does not tarnish the proud legacy of the show. Unlike the awful one-off with Paul McGann, or whatever his name was. So well done to the beeb. Hoorah and YAY. Woot as well I suppose.

Some exciting news now. Well I'm excited anyway. I may be getting a new computer. This is not fully confirmed, but it is ABOUT FUCKING TIME, is all I can say.
Even more exciting is that it would be 2.8GHZ processor with 80 gig hard-drive and DVD-RW.
This may well happen this week, so I am wetting myself with excitement. Although not literally, that would be embarassing. Obviously(well of course it is obvious, wouldn't YOU be embarrased if you wet yourself? If not then you are very weird.

In other news, I have discovered a band who, by what I have heard of their latst album, are great. This band is porcupine tree, and you should check them out.

That is all for now, more from me later. Over and out.

TV Tan

2005-04-15T05:08:00.000-07:00

Wildhearts-TV TAN

I'm living on a land-mine
my body's ticking away, my cartoon eyelids
and my skin, a sickly grey
and if I waited by the 'phone line
I'd wait a couple of days so I'm here lying
on my bed, until I fade

I flick the channels one to one, I flick them through again
and all the time I'm dreaming better days

CHORUS:
and now I see no sun, I see no life behind my one-track mind
here I need no fun, I need no time to find a new design
move along I'm working on my 3-D TV tan
softso KO - I need another show
softso KO - it's just a part of the plan
softso KO - there's only me and my TV Tan

some day maybe I'll call you
I'll see whenever I'm free.. maybe Tuesday, when there's nothing on TV
20 Regal and a 4-pack
I guess I'm set for the night and anti-social, to keep in shape, thin and white

I light a smoke, and in'tween tokes, consult the TV guide
the bible for the pig who stays inside

CHORUS

thinning, I'm thinning and insanely grinning
and fools peeringout of my TV try hard to be funny
unfortunate for me
they start to entertain ye

I'm living on a land-mine, the kind that never ignites
and I'm here waiting, here for nothing...

CHORUS

Little Miss Man?

2005-04-15T02:58:00.000-07:00

Make your own Mr Man/Little Miss

Will post my creation later, when photobucket is up and running again.

God?

2005-04-15T01:54:00.000-07:00

God?

Fire burning
Wheels turning
Satans working
Blatant torture
Hells fury
Insane Laughter
Christians crying
God turns his head

I fart in your general direction!!!!

2005-04-12T15:55:00.000-07:00

Random flying monkeys paint sheep
purple.

I stepped out of bed into a penguin this-morning. I was not amused. Neither was the penguin. Or his wife. We had words. And settled out of court.

My pink and yellow mouse blew my cow out of the hole in our galaxy the day before tomorrow. This was confusing to me, as I do not remember them fighting before. Maybe they were robots all along.

Talking of long, a strange thing happened today.

Isn't that interesting, said the fly to the 1,000 foot high ninja death machine. rargghhhhhhhhhtrfhgpoofpoofpoopoomooflibblewobbly. Said the 1,00 foot high ninja death machine, reasonably.

Always look on the bright side of life.
Cos the dark side is a real shit.

QWERTY
YTREWQ
No, neither do I.

Yes, I am arriving, hello, and welcome...

Excellent!!

2005-04-12T04:27:00.000-07:00

Pick a band name or artist, and using only titles of their songs, answer the following questions:

Band: Motorhead

Are you male or female: We are Motorhead

How do you feel today? Fast And Loose

What are you?: On Parole

Describe yourself: I'm the Doctor

How do some people feel about you?: Die you bastard

How do you feel about yourself?: Loser

Describe your love interest: Dogs
Where would you rather be?:

Describe what you want to be: Killed by Death

Describe how you live: UI'm So Bad(Baby I Don't Care)

Describe how you love: Love Me Like A Reptile

Share a few words of wisdom: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Pick a band name or artist, and using only titles of their songs, answer the following questions:

Band: Wildhearts

Are you male or female: He's A Whore

How do you feel today? Top Of The World

What are you?: Schitzophonic

Describe yourself: Genius Penis

How do some people feel about you?: Shut Your Fucking Mouth And Use Your Fucking Brain

How do you feel about yourself?:Something Weird(Going On In My Head)

Describe your love interest: Nurse Maximum

Where would you rather be?: In Lilly's Garden

Describe what you want to be: Just In Lust

Describe how you live: Nothing Ever Changes But The Shoes

Describe how you love: Love You 'Till I Don't

Share a few words of wisdom: You Got To Get Through What You've Got To Go Through To Get What You Want, But You Got to Know What You Want To Get Through What You Got To Go Through

Do the metal!!!!

2005-04-08T17:55:00.000-07:00

This is electric eel shock in action, yeah!!

Fuck Fuck Fuck...

2005-04-07T17:03:00.000-07:00

Fuck!
Hello, and yes, I am in a bit of a bad mood.The bastard weather got me on my way down to the library, and decided first to rain, then, once I was soaked, decided hail would be an excellent idea. My ears are now bright red through a barrage of rather large hailstones homing in on them, which was quite painful, and my jeans have absorbed a ridiculous amount of water, making me look like I have wet myself from my feet up to my knees. Fuck!!
As I type this, I can hear the weather continuing outside, which does not bode well for my half mile walk to hospital radio medway. Oh well.
I am currently off college(half term) but I am actually having less fun than I do when I am at college!

No particular reason for that picture, I just felt like putting it there. And another...

Thats all for now, I will be back when I can(be bothered).

Idle Hands...

2005-04-05T13:34:00.000-07:00

This is where I am at the moment. In a computer room at college. How exciting.
Oh, and these were taken with my brand new digital camera, woooo. Only £60 with a 128mb sd
memory card. Bargain.

Enough of that. I don't know what I am going to wtite next, so I am just going to make it up as I go along. Ok, recently I have been getting more and more into the various projects of Ginger . He, for those of you that don't know is, among other things, frontman of the wildhearts. He has also done bands such as silver ginger 5,singles club,clam abuse and supershit 666.
If you have never heard anything he has done, you should.Click here to listen to some of the newer wildhearts tracks. I am listening to the Silver Ginger 5 album a lot at the moment.
Which is as good a reason as any to put another picture up using my NEW camera. Mmmmmmmmmm.new*

Ok, I am bored.

On with the post. First off, I reccommend you click here,here and if you really like clicking, click here as well.

Thats all for now, but I shall return!!!!

Must Post

2005-03-29T08:26:00.000-08:00

I really must do a proper post soon, but for now I will just leave you with this

http://photobucket.com/albums/y36/dtmthinktank/?action=view&current=teeblack.jpg

Quiz#29474957495749594

2005-03-17T05:22:00.000-08:00

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	Your mother warned you not to run around with scissors in your hand. You die by some freak accident. Can't really say it was pretty, your Funeral is a closed casket.
Death Date:	April 13, 2048
Number attending your funeral?	31
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$2,568,986

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Stop shouting, oh my head...

2005-03-17T03:12:00.000-08:00

Well, last night was interesting. Went over to a friens house and had a piss-up in their caravan. We laughed, we drank, we danced, we sang, and we passed out. Well, some of us anyway...

Something amazing just out of shot.

Dancing fool!

Mines already gone!

God only knows what I'm laughing at.

I'm falling!

Getting a teeny bit tipsy by this point.

I think I may have had enough by this point!

Open wide!

I am not pisred"£$%^&*

2005-03-15T13:21:00.000-08:00

discover your jack-o-lantern face @ quiz me

Daniel Abraham was
a Liberal Rodeo Clown
in a past life.

http://quizme.stvlive.com/pastlife/quiz.php

Daniel Abraham spins tunes as
DJ Nervous Illusion

Get your dj name @ Quiz Me

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

I'm cancer actually..

Discover your Zodiac Personality @ Quiz Me

Yellow Peril

2005-03-15T13:17:00.000-08:00

YELLOW

You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

Not much to say really

2005-03-14T16:45:00.000-08:00

Well. I feel like posting but I'm not really sure what to say, so I am just going to say whatever comes into my head. Ok, well I think I will start with college. The stereotypical college student is lazy. Very lazy. I have recently found out how true this can be. All that the people in my class do is mess around. On friday I worked my arse off. I did so much, and we barely got anything done. I give up on them. I have decided I am leaving the place. It doesn't help that our courde tutor is so boring, and manages to make even the most interesting thing arduous. He really makes lessons so boring that I walk out of his lectures feeling relived it is over. He takes something simple and goes on for hours about it. I feel like I am back in primary school, and I have had enough!
Okay, next point. Um...
Right. Next is, well not much really. Blah!!!!!!!!

Ande my final point is random words. boing, peanut, painting, circus, love, tennis, light, disc, bum, butter, list, michael jackson(hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe),midgets, chainsaw massacre, american rednecks(help!), death, belly button and soup.

And for another thing, gigs are the second best thing ever, especially barbs gigs(YAY!!!!).

And farscape is THE best thing EVER EVER EVER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
wwoooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you compatible with me?

2005-03-11T02:03:00.000-08:00

I'm a generally unfuckwitted, liberal, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Damn Blogger!

2005-03-11T01:18:00.000-08:00

Comments not working again, grrrrrr"£%$£"$^£^^&*%^!%^£!^£"$%^!$£^%^£"%^£!"$^
Ahem.

On the rise

2005-03-08T07:40:00.000-08:00

I am steadily getting more evil!

HEHE!!

2005-03-08T07:13:00.000-08:00

Advice Bunny

Your question was:Is George Bush Stupid?
The Advice Bunny's response is:Yes, but don't tell anyone.

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/advice_index.html

OH HELL!!!!

2005-03-08T07:09:00.000-08:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's" Inferno Test

My God!!!!

2005-03-08T05:08:00.001-08:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Look Here

2005-03-07T17:44:00.000-08:00

http://www.freewebs.com/dtmthinktank/index.htm

I will probably start putting poetry and rants here soon, and just put random thoughts and quizzes and the like on here.
Hope you like it!

...poetry...

2005-03-07T17:35:00.000-08:00

Nothing nothing everywhere
nothing here and nothing there
something something
comes and goes
something dying
all life goes
blackness blackness all around
smothering light and smothering sound
death death...

mother nature creates
humans destroy
trees flourish
humans destroy
flowers grow
life, creation
death=progress
humans disrupt mother natures song
and create destruction
humans=bacteria
infecting the earth

Hope?

2005-03-07T17:09:00.000-08:00

Everything is still still
still totally still
until everything is still no more
until destruction breeds creation
once more, still until

My death certain. Destruction absolutely, but what then, where does mankind go from here. What next, if anything. Isthis the end?

Hope beats in the hearts of every man, every woman, but what happens when all hope is lost. Who is there with the hope to rebuild...
And in the aftermath who will rise to sieze the hope back from out of the darkness, who survives, sound in body and spirit. Can they lead the remains of a shattered world back from total devastation.
What remains in the tattered remnants of a world scorched with the fires of self ddestruction, of war. Will there stand, forged from the fires of war, a symbol of hope, or will the ruined world die without so much as a whimper of hope.

Hope extinguished
Fires burning
Hell awaits
those with hopeless yearning.

Hope, hope in vain
Going insane
Eating my brain
Consuming my flesh
Then widthdrawing again.

All consuming, all devouring
evil nurtured, healthy, flowering.
Death, destruction
all earth infested
the end of all hope invested
mass construction
evil rises
mankind trembles
hope leaves.

WARNING, EXTREMELY OPINIONATED INDIVIDUAL

2005-03-07T17:08:00.000-08:00

This morning I was thinking. This happens a lot. Usually it is about something or other being shit. Usually either life, the world or the music industry. Today it was the music industries turn. Now I will admit to being extremely opinionated, and going on quite a lot sometimes, I do generally have my reasons and am able to back them up with a decent argument. In the 'music' industry today, there are a lot of shitheads. They are generally, well everyone. Ok, not everyone, but a lot of them. The people which run the big music companies for example, they don't care one bit about music, just about making as much money as they can. They have dollars in their eyes and black in their heart. Intent on raping the industry for every penny it has, these soulless 'vampires' will stop at nothing to get what they want. They will quite happily burn their morals on the fires of the greed that burn within them, without any hesitation they spew forth a sickening production line of pure fucking shite. Soulless musical crap that is manufactured for one purpose, and one purpose only. To make money. Lots and lots of money. Like mindless zombies muttering 'bland shite instead of 'brains' the record buying masses flock like sheep towards the shops, buying up this product, not knowing, or not caring how it was made, they sacrifice the good music around it and home straight in on whatever product is ' the latest thing(tm)'. The persuading factor is not quality but the quantity of cash which has been thrown at the shit pumping out from the filth-pits, pouring like pus onto the masses, who waddle in it, ecstatic with it, loving it. It doesn't help that wherever you go, there are idiots. Chavs being the most ferial example. Like a plague of epic proportions they have swept across the landscape, instantly lowering buy half the i.q of those unfortunate or stupid enough to be sucked into their ranks. Like the exact opposite of the Nazis, the so called 'master' race, they are the disaster race, but there are no armies marching against them, all those not infected can't or won't do anything about it. To me, the threat of 'the chavs' is far worse than any terror war. I would rather be dead than be consumed by mediocrity and stupidity, bacause no matter how much of a joy being alive can be, to me that is not living. It is, at best, exiting and at worse total death. Death of creativity and individuality. These are the type of people that buy into this type of music, and will slag off anything that they don't like, which is anything not popular, and has any individuality. People can say what they like about each to their own, but, to be honest, that is complete and utter bullshit. With a cherry on top. Possibly a Burberry one. What the people that think this fail to realise is that anyone who does not like this shit has little or no choice about whether they want to listen to it or not. It will be playing everywhere anyway. We have no choice. Another thing they fail to realise is how much this music can damage the music we like. Music made by musicians who believe in what they do, and actually make good music. These musicians and bands are stifled because record companies do not like taking risks, so these bands are held back. To say this is unfair is an understatement, because the turds that make up most popular music do not care about what they do, and so do not deserve to be successful. The people who make great music and care for what they do deserve the success. These grinning/swearing/posing (delete as appropriate) pricks , who have record company executive cocks so far down their throats they are almost out the other end are worthy of nothing except to be locked in a dark room to spend an eternity listening to the shit that they dared to call music. But all is not lost. Bad as the situation is, there are a lot of great bands fighting back, and emerging from the shadows into the light. Who knows, maybe they will pick up their axes and chop of those record exec cocks, and liberate us from this tirade of shit. Heres hopin'.

More Poems!

2005-03-07T09:16:00.000-08:00

A Shame?

stealing
stolen
broken,shattered
hate,greed
law breaking for joy
a boy, a siren
a chase, on foot
in their minds
but the conclusion
a bus, a mess
a shame?

Corporate Evil

bus stop, tree top
tip top, clip clop
meat cleaver, sattelite reciever
chop chop, clap clap
splish splosh, splat splat
what a mess, sunday dress
blood spattered apron?, suit?, hands?
evil laughter, silence

You will all die.

2005-03-02T07:26:00.000-08:00

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