The Adventures Of A Tiny Peanut Named Tim
ok. Tim was born out of a forbidden romance between a monkey nut and a pecan, and outcast by his family as an embarassment. He wandered aimlessly for what seemed like years, although may onlly have been minutes,until he found some bar work, as can happen when you are starting out on your own. He was looking forward to his first night of work, not ... See Morereally knowing what he was in for. As he waited for it to get busy he noticed, over in the corner...another peanut, smaller even than he was, cowering, terrified. He rolled on over to the tiny nut and asked what their name was.
The other peanut urned round, and to his surprise...
it was his mother...he was stunned...she used to be so big with her shell, but now she was this tiny frightened nut, looking up at him. She managed to struggle out a weak 'son' before starting to look really frightened. She used what seemed to be the last of her strength to say, very clearly 'i'm so sorry, I love y...' she was cut short by an enormous hand picking her up...and she was gone...tears started streaming from his eyes, he was confused, angry, sad. What could he do now...
his grief and confusion was cut short, when the same hand came reaching for him. In that moment, he knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes and waited...
He awoke in darkness. He was confused, not quite sure what had happened, or where he was. He stumbled around for a while, and his eyesa began to adjust to the dark, until eventually he could see most of his surroundings. He was in some kind of knightmare world, full of pulsating bulges and dripping faecets. Strangely, he felt no fear. In fact, he ... See Morefelt great. He had found a new sense of purpose. He knew what he must do. He would rescue his mother, find out about his past, and then he could face the future knowing who he was. He gurded his loins, such as they were, and set forth on his quest...
He woke again, not knowing where he was. He remembered tripping, and falling...but then nothing.He Looked down at himself to see if he was injured, and to his amazement...
He was human! Fully formed with arms and legs and all the other manbits he had heard about. He stood up, naked and proud, and breathed in deep.
'Put some pants on young man!' he looked round, startled to see another woman, different, but still recognisable...his mother! He suddeny became rather embarrased, and hurredly looked for something to cover... See More up with, finding only a toy sword and a length of string. He sighed, and tied on to the other, making a makeshift modesy device. He walked over to his mother, who had been quiet since her first comment...
She was beginning to breathe deeply when he approached he knelt by where she was propped up, against a nearby wall. As he did so, he became aware of the maggots eating at her arm, then that it was no longer attatched, a bandage covering the stump where it was. He was that she was sitting in blood...a lot of blood. He looked into her eyes, and ... See Morewhispered 'I love you...I forgive you' she smiled, then began coughing, and blood dripping out of her mouth. He held her, realising that she was about to dir, and that he must be strong. She could speak no more, and he held her until her breathing began to slow. He kissed her on the forehead, and she died in his arms...
He didn't cry, he reflected on her final words, 'Put some pants on young man!' and chuckled to himself. He closed her eyes, put her down, and stood up. He considered briefly stealing her clothes, but then realised that he would not be able to undress his just departed mother and leave her naked. He took one last look at her, and set off down the tunnel nearest to her body...
He walked for what seemed like hours, until he suddenly came round a corner, to an opening, bathed in light. He walked through, boldly, certain that this was his destiny. What he saw took his breath away...
He had just entered an enormous underground chamber, the ceiling reaching up hundreds of feet. He was still looking up in wonder when he felt it...a tremor...then another. They continued, getting closer, until, through another, larger opening in the far wall, crawled a fantastical creature, unlike anything he could have imagined...
The best description he could give it was...the devil...as a peanut spider. He didn't know wether to laugh, or clutch his sword, opting to do both. The peanut looked at him for a while, looking intently, as if to gauge him. Then proclaimed: 'I am your destiny, I am your downfall. This is where your life ends' stunned, he undid his sword, half aware... See More that he stood before this peanut beast naked and erect...and realised he had but one purpose...to avenge his mother, and to vanquish the demon of being smaller than all the other peanuts. He took a deep breath, and roared, as he ran at the beast...
He swung into action as soon as he neared the beast, ducking and lunging under it's bloated peanut body, and past it's wiry, twiglet like arms. He swung round as he got behind the beast, and jumped on one of it's legs, gripping tightly. The beast shook with all it's might, and he struggled to hold on, but the beast soon gave up shaking, and ... See Morescuttled towards the nearest wall. He realised he was going to be squashed against the wall, and panicked...what would he do. He gripped tighter and just before they reached the wall, he jumped, thudding to the ground. As he looked up, he saw the spider stagger back...with it's body shell smashed, and it's internal nut exposed. He ignored the pain racking his body and lunged with his sword...
He struck the beast dead centre of it's innnards, and with a final moan he slumped back triumphant...
...then sudenly, he blinked awake, in broad daylight. He was surrounded by people, all staring. He remembered where he was...he had been drinking, in the pub, and he had been dared to strip, when he was accused of being 'small' he had then staggered home drunk and naked, eating peanuts, when he began to choke. He realised he was on his front lawn, ... See Moreand, now sober, was aware that he was still naked, and his mother, his real mother was telling him to put some pants on. He grabbed the outstretched y-fronts from her and put them on, embarrased. He realised he had been saved by her managing to perform the heimlich manouver on him and save him. He apologised to the crowd and rushed inside and up to his room, locking himself in. He realised that he had been, in a was, saved by his mother in his dream-like state, and that all that worry about being small...had been from the pub. But on reflection he realised he had learnt a lot. Not to drink so much and get naked for one...but also...that he really liked how a sword felt in his hand!
THE END!
The other peanut urned round, and to his surprise...
it was his mother...he was stunned...she used to be so big with her shell, but now she was this tiny frightened nut, looking up at him. She managed to struggle out a weak 'son' before starting to look really frightened. She used what seemed to be the last of her strength to say, very clearly 'i'm so sorry, I love y...' she was cut short by an enormous hand picking her up...and she was gone...tears started streaming from his eyes, he was confused, angry, sad. What could he do now...
his grief and confusion was cut short, when the same hand came reaching for him. In that moment, he knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes and waited...
He awoke in darkness. He was confused, not quite sure what had happened, or where he was. He stumbled around for a while, and his eyesa began to adjust to the dark, until eventually he could see most of his surroundings. He was in some kind of knightmare world, full of pulsating bulges and dripping faecets. Strangely, he felt no fear. In fact, he ... See Morefelt great. He had found a new sense of purpose. He knew what he must do. He would rescue his mother, find out about his past, and then he could face the future knowing who he was. He gurded his loins, such as they were, and set forth on his quest...
He woke again, not knowing where he was. He remembered tripping, and falling...but then nothing.He Looked down at himself to see if he was injured, and to his amazement...
He was human! Fully formed with arms and legs and all the other manbits he had heard about. He stood up, naked and proud, and breathed in deep.
'Put some pants on young man!' he looked round, startled to see another woman, different, but still recognisable...his mother! He suddeny became rather embarrased, and hurredly looked for something to cover... See More up with, finding only a toy sword and a length of string. He sighed, and tied on to the other, making a makeshift modesy device. He walked over to his mother, who had been quiet since her first comment...
She was beginning to breathe deeply when he approached he knelt by where she was propped up, against a nearby wall. As he did so, he became aware of the maggots eating at her arm, then that it was no longer attatched, a bandage covering the stump where it was. He was that she was sitting in blood...a lot of blood. He looked into her eyes, and ... See Morewhispered 'I love you...I forgive you' she smiled, then began coughing, and blood dripping out of her mouth. He held her, realising that she was about to dir, and that he must be strong. She could speak no more, and he held her until her breathing began to slow. He kissed her on the forehead, and she died in his arms...
He didn't cry, he reflected on her final words, 'Put some pants on young man!' and chuckled to himself. He closed her eyes, put her down, and stood up. He considered briefly stealing her clothes, but then realised that he would not be able to undress his just departed mother and leave her naked. He took one last look at her, and set off down the tunnel nearest to her body...
He walked for what seemed like hours, until he suddenly came round a corner, to an opening, bathed in light. He walked through, boldly, certain that this was his destiny. What he saw took his breath away...
He had just entered an enormous underground chamber, the ceiling reaching up hundreds of feet. He was still looking up in wonder when he felt it...a tremor...then another. They continued, getting closer, until, through another, larger opening in the far wall, crawled a fantastical creature, unlike anything he could have imagined...
The best description he could give it was...the devil...as a peanut spider. He didn't know wether to laugh, or clutch his sword, opting to do both. The peanut looked at him for a while, looking intently, as if to gauge him. Then proclaimed: 'I am your destiny, I am your downfall. This is where your life ends' stunned, he undid his sword, half aware... See More that he stood before this peanut beast naked and erect...and realised he had but one purpose...to avenge his mother, and to vanquish the demon of being smaller than all the other peanuts. He took a deep breath, and roared, as he ran at the beast...
He swung into action as soon as he neared the beast, ducking and lunging under it's bloated peanut body, and past it's wiry, twiglet like arms. He swung round as he got behind the beast, and jumped on one of it's legs, gripping tightly. The beast shook with all it's might, and he struggled to hold on, but the beast soon gave up shaking, and ... See Morescuttled towards the nearest wall. He realised he was going to be squashed against the wall, and panicked...what would he do. He gripped tighter and just before they reached the wall, he jumped, thudding to the ground. As he looked up, he saw the spider stagger back...with it's body shell smashed, and it's internal nut exposed. He ignored the pain racking his body and lunged with his sword...
He struck the beast dead centre of it's innnards, and with a final moan he slumped back triumphant...
...then sudenly, he blinked awake, in broad daylight. He was surrounded by people, all staring. He remembered where he was...he had been drinking, in the pub, and he had been dared to strip, when he was accused of being 'small' he had then staggered home drunk and naked, eating peanuts, when he began to choke. He realised he was on his front lawn, ... See Moreand, now sober, was aware that he was still naked, and his mother, his real mother was telling him to put some pants on. He grabbed the outstretched y-fronts from her and put them on, embarrased. He realised he had been saved by her managing to perform the heimlich manouver on him and save him. He apologised to the crowd and rushed inside and up to his room, locking himself in. He realised that he had been, in a was, saved by his mother in his dream-like state, and that all that worry about being small...had been from the pub. But on reflection he realised he had learnt a lot. Not to drink so much and get naked for one...but also...that he really liked how a sword felt in his hand!
THE END!
Uttered by Motormouth at approximately 12:46 am
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