Thursday, January 05, 2006

I'm reviewing...the situation...

So an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Vicar, a Priest and a Rabbi walk into a pub and the barman says what is this, some sort of joke?

Well it made me laugh anyway.
It's from the film Keeping Mum by the way, which is great. Hurrah for British comedy!
"You must play the role of little clitiris"
"I can't sir"
"And why not?"
"Well sir I am Allcock, I fear the role of little clitiris is outside my range"

Another great line from a great british film, the Libertine, starring Johnny Depp as the Earl of Rochester. He was great in the role obviously.

"Do you fuck chickens?"

Well I had a pleasant surprise at work today. I found that a comment from a customer had been written in the store diary. It was about how helpful I had been, and it cheered me greatly. Thank goodness for polite customers, and a big fat bollock to the rude ones, may you rot in the hell of your own impoliteness forever when you die, and may that be soon!

I'm happy really though, honest!

"The last thing I need is a load of horny robots running around and knocking over shit"

This is a post about SOMETHING

So I was sitting here in the library as usual and I thought to myself
"I wonder what I could post about today, I don't really have anything to write"
"I know! I'll do one of those really random posts where I just make some creative writing up on the spot and see what happens"

This is that creative writing...

So I was looking out of the window and I was wondering...what could be out there, I mean we don't really know much beyond our solar system do we. We are a tiny microscopic dot on the vast canvas of space. Wouldn't it be cool to be able to find out what existed beyong our little part of all this...
There exist in this universe, and infinite number of everything, because it cannot truly end. This is just one small story from one tiny planet...
It began during the middle of the night, and the sound that was created was enough to wake up everyone on the planet. I got out of bed more quickly than I ever could have believed possible at the strange explosion of sound that suddenly burst into our world. I looked out of the wildow, and saw only darkness. I froze with panic. What the hell was happening. The noise started pulsing, a strange sound that while not unpleasant was menacing, and struck fear into me. Whatever was happening, it wasn't good.
I srinted down the stairs, tripping and crumpling into a heap. I ignored the searing pain in my shoulder, and pulled myself up. By the time I got to the door I felt much bolder. I threw it open, ready to face whatever was out there. I was not afraid...
There was nothing there. By nothing I mean complete darkness. Not ordinary darkness though, it was as if it was the dark of space, but it wasn't space. I suddenly felt very afraid again. I stumbled backwards, but tripped on something, I could not see what, and stumbled...stumbled straight out of the door, without time to grab the doorframe, I flailed desperately to no avail. I braced myself for whatever would happen.
I fell onto something. What I could not tell you. I looked down and I was suspended in mid air. It was as if I was floating on a mysterious pillow. I stayed still, unsure what I should do. I was only a metre from the doorway still. I had the strangest sensayion I was being watched. I began to get up, but just then a strange voice came drifting out of the darkness. it said...

I have no idea what is going on here, or if it is any good, but thats what happens when you write randomly.

Until the next time...

< Motor-fucking-head! Farscape-The Best Thing Ever, wooo!!!!